And now back to our usual scheduled programming. I’m really trying to bulk up my muscles for the summer. Gotta look good in my mankini! I just get so sick of the same old protein sources every single day. Chicken, eggs, more chicken, even more eggs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a man who loves his eggs, but mostly when they’re fried in a lake of butter, served with a side of bacon.
Now here’s a source of protein I can really stand behind. Canned Unicorn Meat offers up your daily source of protein, along with a healthy dose of giggles and sunshine. Each part of the unicorn is used to create this beautiful block of preserved meat, including crunchy bits of magical horn bits. I even feel all fancy eating it since it’s imported straight from County Meath, Ireland. Head over to the source link to get a great “Savory Unicorn & Heirloom Tomato Bruchetta” recipe which I highly recommend.
April 7, 2010 6:08am
Taste like chicken
April 7, 2010 6:30am
awesome,,,I am so hungry now…can i get a side of leprechaun?
April 7, 2010 6:30am
omg wow
i want one (unicorn that is) alive-
sara edinburgh
April 7, 2010 18:05pm
This just made my day.
April 7, 2010 21:22pm
goes excellent with deep fried fairy toes and garnished with a lovely magic mushroom demiglaze.
April 7, 2010 21:52pm
Hahaa I love how Rainbows comes from its ass… Seriously, Made my day!
April 7, 2010 23:47pm
Oh my stars that funny in a sad killer of dreams sort of way!
April 8, 2010 10:57am
I want to know about the “Superglue” portion…
April 8, 2010 11:58am
Oh my, crunchy horn bits……… sounds inviting.
you guys drank Newater from Singapore, it also comes with nutty bits ?
April 9, 2010 8:42am
…yeaaah! do you sell it as pills too?
April 9, 2010 9:59am
That is just pure awesomeness right there. Radiant Farms – haha!
April 9, 2010 18:41pm
What are you talking about jo, (#2). Leprechauns arent real.
April 9, 2010 20:57pm
Yeah huh… huh…., let’s EAT it!!!
April 9, 2010 21:25pm
Yey!! I’m from County Meath, Ireland!! Ain’t seen no unicorns though??!! Hmmm… if I were cleverer(er) i’d venture a guess that this is a scam!! Gonna stick to my eggs and protein shakes just incase!! Oh and if Popeye thought us anything, plenty of iron too (either that or the skit from Family Guy was right and they were giant tumors on his arms!!)!! Oh well, back to what has only ruined my life… stumbling!!
April 11, 2010 7:55am
Caution! Eating this stuff will turn you from a Great Hulking American Neaderthal into a rice and veggies eating intellectual of slight build and fast mind! You may even want to study math, Science and technology afterwards! Youmight even trow out your ‘Elvis’ collection and sell your pick-up truck! You could get caought riding and electric bike in short pants!
April 11, 2010 10:05am
my daughter heart would break…where did mr. sparkles go?
April 11, 2010 14:18pm
this just made me gay
April 12, 2010 21:19pm
wow, that’s by far the best reference to unicorns ever. EVER.
April 14, 2010 18:36pm
Hahaha, an excellent source of sparkles.
April 14, 2010 21:16pm
So would twilight vampire meat also contain sparkles when exposed to sunlight?
April 15, 2010 11:52am
Those sparkles play hell with my fillings.
April 15, 2010 16:03pm
Finally! I’ve been searching all over for something with my recommended daily allowance of sparkles. That’s the best part!
April 15, 2010 20:17pm
scientifically proven, i used to hunt these in my backyard in minot, nd
April 16, 2010 5:30am
Oh, dear. I am horrified at the idea of eating a unicorn!. Seems that we cant leave anything alone. If we dont eat it, we shag it. Sorry.
April 16, 2010 12:35pm
super glue lol!
April 16, 2010 13:39pm
Damn… Sparkles give me the runs
April 16, 2010 22:38pm
friggin’ hilarious i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 17, 2010 0:31am
Well I’m from Oxford and we’ve seen some green alligators and long necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees, some cats and rats and elephants as sure as you’re born; but we just ain’t seen no unicorns.
Where are they hiding these creatures? Hogwarts?
April 17, 2010 17:10pm
Way too expensive for more than the occasional treat…over $11/lb.! Unicorn Helper anyone?
April 18, 2010 2:39am
fuck me hard up the ass.
April 19, 2010 9:41am
wow the superglue is for fixing broken hearts i need that unicorn….
April 19, 2010 9:41am
dildo is a very sad person
April 19, 2010 22:58pm
Nom nom nom, do want.
April 20, 2010 1:44am
You missed that it is hallucinagenic and also slimming. It has also been proven to make people more attractive to the opposite sex and increase their wealth. Pink versions are rarer but have even less of the magical ingredients thus increasing the power that hey possess.
April 20, 2010 15:36pm
I’ll stick with my flying pig B.B.Q. ,Its the meat of summer for all.
April 21, 2010 7:37am
Stolen content from ThinkGeek, only a tiny credit tag? GG Gearfuse
April 21, 2010 13:06pm
Bear: There’s a watermark on the picture, ThinkGeek is one of the post’s tags and the main link is to ThinkGeek’s product page. How is that stolen content?
April 25, 2010 8:48am
It looks nothing like the picture
May 2, 2010 15:17pm
Tasted great but gave me the runs.
May 2, 2010 17:26pm
Harvested Humanely
Delicate and yet savory….and the giggle bits are to die for…
washed down with my favorite fizzy tea!
May 2, 2010 17:31pm
Is this stuff grass-fed? I only eat the grass-fed stuff.
May 2, 2010 17:35pm
Typical. They take something pure and unadulterated and put it in a can with God-knows-what-else mixed in there. Judging by the side of the can, the ingredient list looks pretty long.
May 15, 2010 11:36am
That looks tasty,but once you’ve tried the Kobe Unicorn in Japan…well lets just say I used to be a vegetarian!
May 16, 2010 21:50pm
It’s better to stuff your dead unicorn into an icebox, then sacrifice him to your god for massive brownie points. Then, you can use its horn to cure all sorts of ailments, unless you have several unicorn horns lying around, in which case it’s great to polymorph them into useful things like magic markers.
June 6, 2010 17:20pm
Warning do not eat after minight
July 28, 2010 14:33pm
gay
stupid
July 30, 2010 16:23pm
Stupid, yet magical. Just like me! (jk) Wow, if i could meet anybody on the planet, i would NOT choose the person who invented this cause their probably messed. lolz XD
December 10, 2010 12:05pm
My math teacher ordered this stuff as a joke for our Algebra class, I really want to know if you can eat it…lol
January 1, 2011 0:09am
This is too brilliant, I had to put it on my blog! But I also had to add some fine print to make sure people knew I wasn’t endorsing killing unicorns or eating them. http://faithseptember.blogspot.com/2010/12/glitter.html
March 14, 2011 18:18pm
It says product of Ireland
So we all have to go there and protest at the factory:) save the unicorns:) save the unicorns:) hahaha
April 15, 2011 0:20am
Great for a full rainbow spectrum of glitter.