TAG RESULTS FOR: warmer

Brando Answers Your Cries For Help, As Long As You Happen To Be Crying “Help, My Eyeballs are Freezing!”

My poor, poor eyeballs. Every other part of my body gets some sort of warmth treatment throughout the day whether it be via Snuggie or mask, but my eyeballs remain shivering in their little sockets. The patented Brando USB Eye-Warmer works on keeping your eyeballs snug and cozy. No offense to Brando, because I’m sure they had only thoughts of well-being and helpfulness towards their customers, but what happens if you fall asleep with this thing on and it shorts... Continue reading

Ultra Conspicuous USB Hand Warmer

Check out this USB “hand warmer” stick. It doesn’t have the finger grips that the other USB hand warmer has, but it costs a dollar more. Strange. Oh, who am I kidding. This thing is as much for your hands as a monitor is for your head. In truth, this is a covert dildo for pleasuring either yourself, a loved one or maybe even a one night stand. I don’t know about you, but a $12 dollar heated dildo is... Continue reading

USB Hand Warmer Reduces Shrinkage For All Night Wank-Fest

What can’t be done now with USB ports (other than curing cancer and solving world hunger)? The USB Hand Warmer adds another addition to bodily warming USB devices, such as the Ass Warmer. The USB Hand Warmer takes about 25 minutes to heat up to a soothing 50 degrees. Being at the computer all day, I know my hands become pretty damn cold always typing away, so something like this could be pretty handy (lol, get it? Handy?!). Only $11... Continue reading