Gearfuse

According to sources and this video proof, some guy has accomplished what many deem impossible. The above video shows the game Portal running on the iPhone. Whether this is just a lite version or a full port of the game is unknown at this point, but either version would be pretty cool in my book.

Of course, there are plenty of people who are already calling this cake a lie as well. Until it’s proven either way, I’m just going to take it based on the evidence we have. And that evidence points to awesome.

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Here is the developer preview of the second circle of hell, Lust, from the upcoming Dante’s Inferno video game by EA. Disturbing, visceral, dark, tormenting and, most importantly, awesome. All words which describe what we can see from the game. The devs decided not to go overly smutty, considering the subject of Lust, though instead delve into the dark torment of the word. The gameplay sort of looks like a cross between God of War and Diablo.

As someone who has always been morbidly intrigued by gore, evil and even Alighieri’s original Inferno story, Dante’s Inferno looks right up my alley. It’s much darker than almost any other game I think I’ve ever seen. It will surely turn-off some, but it just inspires the hell out of me.

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They should have used a real ape. And a real princess. And a real superhero plumber (not you Joe).

Video after the jump.

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So, here’s the deal. Some dude bought two used copies of Grand Theft Auto games for his 12-year-old son and was surprised to find a few ecstasy pills wrapped in cling wrap, hidden in the video game’s manual. Instead of quietly thanking the gaming gods and grabbing the nearest bottle of water, the father decided to cause a little scuff, claiming that his kids, whom apparently play XBox constantly, could have died if they had taken the mysterious pills.

Dude, if your 12-year-old son is still swallowing random things he finds wrapped in suspicious looking cling wrap, it’s safe to say he shouldn’t be playing Grand Theft Auto in the first place. Not to mention the little gaming addict is wearing an AIG shirt. I mean, really? Teach your son some values.

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Billy Corgan and the Smashing Pumpkins are sadly no longer in their prime. It seems that most of Corgan’s uncanny song writing ability went out the window about the same time he ditched his hair. But Pumpkin fans continue to worship the band’s original genius.

YouTube user elmacbee created this ultra-fake Smashing Pumpkins video game, which is pretty much just a hacked version of Super Mario Brothers with an alternative rock twist. Is the world really ready for Billy Corgan and the crew in side-scrolling form? It’s almost like a Siamese Dream. Play with any one of the four band members and smash some fucking pumpkins.

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We figured that the second most famous plumber in the world (Screw you, Joe the Plumber Douche Bag. Can’t you just go away already?) would be spending his days looking for gold coins in the pipes of the most famous city in the world. Good luck on finding that gold though. Times are tough, my man. Frankly, I don’t blame Mario for taking on more of a “viral” marketing scheme.

And you thought Mario only climbed through pipes when he was trying to save princesses? No way. That dirty little shit just loves the smell of feces. Can’t get enough of it. Just watch out for alligators, Mr. Mario. And even if large reptilian beings in the NYC sewage system happens to only be a myth, have you seen New York City’s rats? They might as well be grizzly bears.

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That’s a cake. No, really, it’s a cake. I’m telling you man, you’ve got to believe me – it really is a cake.

The LEGO Batman launch party must have been a huge success because Elisa Strauss of Confetti Cakes showed up with this masterpiece of fattening goodness. Once again, it is a cake.

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