TAG RESULTS FOR: underwear

Taco Bell is delicious. There’s no denying that. Unfortunately the effects that the restaurant’s food has on your digestive system isn’t nearly as appetizing. A meal at Taco Bell has the unique qualities which incite both gas and loose stools. Not a good combination for people who happen to be in public without an extra pair of panties handy. Having a pair of Emergency Underpants on hand at all times means no more fear of walking around with a load... Continue reading

It might seem like some sort of lazy fantasy, but a Japanese astronaut recently tested out a pair of J-Wear anti-bacterial, flame retardant, antistatic, and water-absorbent briefs which are supposedly wearable for weeks at a time. Astronaut Koichi Wakata says he wore the panties for about a month and received nary a complaint. That’s great that they can use them in space, but when will they be available for more practical use, such as playing WoW for weeks at a... Continue reading

I don’t know why I love this so much, but I do. Handerpants are tighty-whities for your hands, gloves inspired by the classic testicle confining pair of underwear. Just imagine how creeped out you would have been if Michael Jackson wore one of these instead of his one shimmery glove. Warning: After sustained use you might want to get your hand’s sperm count checked out. I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit I want a pair. Scope out the video after... Continue reading

I know what you’re thinking. Giant underwear, right? Wrong, it’s not wearable underwear, it’s a rug. Now, I can get rid of that dead bear decorating my Summer log cabin. Just lay this fuzzy under-garment down and it’ll look like you don’t give two shits about doing laundry.  It’s just $24 dollars, though I wish it wasn’t so small. I know I couldn’t fit into a pair that’s 25 inches by 20 inches. That would never even begin to cover... Continue reading

When you’re drunk, you’re bound to make a fool out of yourself. You’re also probably bound to piss a lot that night so why not make the most of it? Slap one of these fire hose thongs on and let ‘er flow. Got a wife who’s into really freaky shit? Dress up like a fireman and then shower her with piss. What a fantastic idea. At $8.99, you don’t have to be Alec Baldwin to afford a fire hose that... Continue reading

If you’re like me, a lard ass who needs to check his blood all the time, then you’re in luck. There is underwear that checks your blood pressure and I even like the color. Using a sensor attached to the waste (good luck rocking a belt), the underwear measures your pulse and calculates blood pressure from there, ultimately letting you know how out of shape you are: Each sensor continually measures the electrical impedance of the tissue beneath it –... Continue reading

Fatties who recently lost a ton of weight like to joke around, saying things like “Wow, my fat jeans are so big that I can fit another person in them.” Ok, that’s great. You used to be fat. It doesn’t seem as impressive that you can fit another person in those jeans when something like Fundies is available for only $4.99. As the packaging states, here is what is included “4 Legs And 2 Rears (2 Close Friends Not Included)”... Continue reading

Still not sure on what to get your lady for the 14th? Check out these HTTPanties. All of the colors come with strategically placed error messages. Including 403 Forbidden, 200 OK, 413 Requested Entity Too Large, and 411 Length Required. Depending on the size of your input plug, the latter two could be a really funny joke. Of course, until she breaks up with you and tells all her friends about it. That could keep you out of the game... Continue reading