Tag Archives: underwear

Emergency Underpants: Essential Gear for Taco Bell Night

Taco Bell is delicious. There’s no denying that. Unfortunately the effects that the restaurant’s food has on your digestive system isn’t nearly as appetizing. A meal at Taco Bell has the unique qualities which incite both gas and loose stools. Not a good combination for people who happen to be in public without an extra pair of panties handy. Having ...

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Underwear You Can Wear For Weeks

It might seem like some sort of lazy fantasy, but a Japanese astronaut recently tested out a pair of J-Wear anti-bacterial, flame retardant, antistatic, and water-absorbent briefs which are supposedly wearable for weeks at a time. Astronaut Koichi Wakata says he wore the panties for about a month and received nary a complaint. That’s great that they can use them ...

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Handerpants Reduce Your Hand’s Sperm Count

I don’t know why I love this so much, but I do. Handerpants are tighty-whities for your hands, gloves inspired by the classic testicle confining pair of underwear. Just imagine how creeped out you would have been if Michael Jackson wore one of these instead of his one shimmery glove. Warning: After sustained use you might want to get your ...

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This Rug Could Contain Skid Marks

I know what you’re thinking. Giant underwear, right? Wrong, it’s not wearable underwear, it’s a rug. Now, I can get rid of that dead bear decorating my Summer log cabin. Just lay this fuzzy under-garment down and it’ll look like you don’t give two shits about doing laundry.� It’s just $24 dollars, though I wish it wasn’t so small. I ...

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Male Fire Hose Thong

When you’re drunk, you’re bound to make a fool out of yourself. You’re also probably bound to piss a lot that night so why not make the most of it? Slap one of these fire hose thongs on and let ‘er flow. Got a wife who’s into really freaky shit? Dress up like a fireman and then shower her with ...

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Tightie Whities Check Your Blood Pressure At Anytime

If you’re like me, a lard ass who needs to check his blood all the time, then you’re in luck. There is underwear that checks your blood pressure and I even like the color. Using a sensor attached to the waste (good luck rocking a belt), the underwear measures your pulse and calculates blood pressure from there, ultimately letting you ...

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Fundies: Panties For Two. Hmm, Could Be Fun

Fatties who recently lost a ton of weight like to joke around, saying things like “Wow, my fat jeans are so big that I can fit another person in them.” Ok, that’s great. You used to be fat. It doesn’t seem as impressive that you can fit another person in those jeans when something like Fundies is available for only ...

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Valentine’s Day Geek: HTTPanties

Still not sure on what to get your lady for the 14th? Check out these HTTPanties. All of the colors come with strategically placed error messages. Including 403 Forbidden, 200 OK, 413 Requested Entity Too Large, and 411 Length Required. Depending on the size of your input plug, the latter two could be a really funny joke. Of course, until ...

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