When we think Hello Kitty, we think about the adorable piece of shit gadgets they produce and the meaningless of the entire damn brand. That’s right Hello Kitty, we’re hatin’. But this one is actually sort of neat.
This Hello Kitty toy designed by Dr Romanelli gives us the rare inside look. This is the first time we’ve gotten to dissect a Hello Kitty doll and apparently a bunch of their organs have eyes, which is actually pretty creepy.
I hate to dis on the red dude, but let’s be honest, Elmo has always carried a little extra weight. That’s what makes him so ticklish and cuddly. Well it seems that Elmo is sick of the fat jokes.
The USB Crunching Elmo allows you to plug Sesame Street’s favorite little fat boy into your USB port so Elmo can get his workout. I see a future Christmas bestseller in the making. To be honest, I thought this was something much more explicit at first.
The Slinky, being one of the most popular toys of the 20th century, can hardly just walk down any public street like any other run of the mill toy. Poor Slinky would be mobbed by adoring fans.
In an attempt to live a half normal life, the Slinky as been forced to disguise itself as a light fixture. See what you people have done? The Slinky Light is pretty much a normal slinky, attached end to end, with an upside down uplighter bulb thrown in-between.
Newton’s Cradle, if you didn’t already know, is an awesome perpetual motion toy made using a series of identical balls suspended from a frame. You might have seen them at your local psychiatrist’s office or in many offices of CEOs. Geek Group was on a mission to create the world’s largest Newton’s Cradle.
How big, exactly, was the finished product? The cradle was made with bowling balls, so that’s a pair of 20 foot cables holding the 15 pound bowling balls about three feet above the ground. About a total of 300 pounds. That’s a whole lot of ball bashing.
Combine the activities of Wooly Willy and playing with your food and you’ll have something similar to these awesome Food Face Dinner Plates. These plates not only encourage playing with your food, but they demand it.
The Food Face Dinner Plate allows children to explore their creativity and allows us adults to add another great toy to our own collection. The plates will be available in late-June for $9.99 from Perpetual Kid.
My Little Zombie Pony uses her saccharine cutesy-ness to distract you just long enough for you not to realize she is feasting on your brain. BRAAAAINNNNS! Or is it bray-ns?
If Crystal’s Pony Tale ever merged with Resident Evil, it would look something like this.
OK, I know that Disney released the original Tron film in 1982. And I get that Mickey Mouse is the de facto symbol of the company. But other than that, what the fuck does Mickey and Tron have in common?
Oh, man. The transformation is complete. Barbie is now officially inked. The oldest teenager in the world (can you say “mid-life crisis?”) is now offered a new world of tattoos, thanks to Mattell’s new “Totally Tattoos” line of no-mess decals. No, I am not making this up.
Mattell offers a range of 40 tats to disfigure Barbie’s beautiful clear skin, including a strategically designed tramp stamp which declares her love for Ken. Didn’t they break up or divorce or something? More tat love after the jump of doom.
Do you really need another reason for the ladies to be creeped-out by your house? Your weird collection of Kamasutra Robots and your robotic lovechild are enough to scare even the spiniest of family members away. The addition of a sexually-harassing inter-species flirting Talking Deer doesn’t sound like it’s going to be much help of a help to your social life.
Talking Buck sings “Sweet Home Alabama” to unsuspecting harassment victims, followed by the uncomfortable pick-up line of “You can touch the fur ladies, I’m so soft.” I kid you not. If your female friends haven’t started running by this point, just wait until they see your collection of human candles.
Let’s see how excited your girlfriend is to breast feed this little guy. The 3-age Iron Man is a superbaby with a mission. Totally capable of kicking ass, taking names and making some of the most hardcore finger painting ever.
When your new baby gets sent home from daycare for smacking around his guardians with his superhuman toddler strength, don’t ask questions. Just apologize and carry on. One day, your little baby will make you very proud.
