Steve Jobs is dead. Steve Jobs is not dead. Steve Jobs is sick. Steve Jobs is not sick. I’m sick of this shit.

Clearly, Steve Jobs is immortal and all this news of his demise is a load of cow dung. Who makes this crap up anyway? The SEC tracked down the little bastard responsible, who just so happens to be an 18-year-old kid with nothing better to do.

Blogger and dickhead “Johntw” wrote:

“I have an insider who tells me that paramedics were called after Steve claimed to be suffering from severe chest pains and shortness of breath,” the author wrote. “My source has opted to remain anonymous, but he is quite reliable.”

Quite reliable for a source that never existed, don’t you think? Will we ever see these fabrications of poor Jobs’ put to an end? So long as he’s the anchor holding Apple’s stock, you can expect more of these falsehoods to make an appearance. Good thing Steve Jobs is immortal.

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Jim Lynch over at Extreme Tech wrote a funny post we just couldn’t ignore. Almost the entire column goes over how much Steve Jobs is in dire need of a wardrobe intervention. All of his clothes are either too short or too baggy due to his recent loss of weight. C’mon Steve, you’ve got cash, you can afford leather. Anything but those horrid workout clothes you’re always sporting. What would you want to see Steve in? Pierre Cardin? BOSS?

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It might not be the coolest LEGO set to date, but it certainly is an impressive display of building blocks directly inspired by Team Fortress 2. It’s the engineer’s sentry gun from the game, used to tear through hordes of enemy scouts rushing to grab your team’s briefcase (or flag).

It was created by Steve Barker who says he’s more proud of this creation than any of his others so far.It looks nice, but can it withstand the firepower that a LEGO Johnny Five’s laser beam can distribute? Doubtful, considering how easily sentry guns are taken out in game.

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