Have you ever wondered how Stormtroopers spend their free time? Apparently they do more than prance around in fruity outfits. This massive collection of photos over at Fresh Pics gives us an insider’s look at the secret lives of Stormtroopers.
Looks like the dark side has a don’t ask, don’t tell policy.
Even at his most perilous moment, Han Solo refused to tell the Princess how much he loved her, but I have no shame in admitting my undying love for this awesome Han Solo in Carbonite Desk. Yes, that’s right, I am in love with a piece of furniture.
How awesome would it be to walk into your boss’s office and see this desk. Not only would you Vader comparison make much more sense, but it would probably also help you have a little more respect for your boss’s taste.
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. That’s why it’s nice to get away to a place where every Wookie knows your name.
If Cheers had taken place in the Star Wars universe, Ted Danson would totally have been a Wookie. With that forehead, how could he not be. The thing is like a billboard.
Why?! They were a peaceful people! People of diplomatic stature. Perhaps a boring people, but that was sort of their charm. The sort of people you would never even consider carving into a jackolantern. Damn you, Vader!
Chewbacca’s roar. This is one talent I’ve always wanted, along with the ability to rip off the arms of a droid if they beat me in chess, but that’s another talent for another time. This sexy instructional video features an adorable geek chick unveiling the secrets of the Chewie roar. You’ll need to have some sort of control over your oral muscles, something which I unfortunately don’t seem to have and it would help to share the genes of a tiger, badger or bear.
I’m pretty sure the key to mastering the roar is practice, even if you feel sort of silly gurgling all by yourself. The only problem I see possibly facing is explaining away the guttural noises if someone walks in on you practicing.
Wear them as a necklace, wear them on a charm bracelet, shove them in you anus. It’s all in good fun! Right, random guy I met at the gym who promised to “clean my pipes,” whatever that means?! Stop looking at me!
Nobody disrupts the sterile sanctity of the Death Star and gets away with it. Nobody but Darth Vader that is.
How much more awesome would the Revolutionary War have been had it been fought with lightsabers? I think the answer is pretty clear.
While it might not have been Luke’s proudest moment, Han Solo saved Skywalker from certain death in the Empire Strikes Back by slicing open a freshly dead Tauntaun and shoving the unconscious Jedi into the depths of the animal’s guts. Still warm, the heat of the dead animal saved Luke from freezing to death in the harsh Hoth climate.
This Dead Tauntaun wedding cake briefly immortalized the iconic Tauntaun scene before it was quickly eaten, digested and shat out by wedding guests. Such is the circle of life.
Update: Thanks to our commenter for pointing out the original source of these photos. “These shots were taken by mod4 photographic and the cake was made by Courtney at Cake Nouveau.”
Even evil overlords put their pants on one leg at a time. Just because he has an evil empire to run, doesn’t mean his responsibility of personal hygeine and everyday duties comes to an end. In fact, for someone who interacts with so many acolytes, its important to smell fresh.
Darth Vader, much like any universe-domineering dictator, still manages to brush his teeth and shower everyday, and now, we have proof of that very fact.
