Gearfuse

Sure, the Wii might be the worst damn console in history according to our very official and scientific calculations. But the Nintendo gaming platform must have its fans out there somewhere, right? So, for all three of you at the Pleasantville Senior Rest Home, we’ve got a real treat for you and your saggy-diapered, Wiimote-wielding asses.

Pimped out with an array of 20,000 crystals, this $4,000 shitbox Wii is covered in shiny Mario gayness goodness, with possibly the faggiest depiction of Bowser and Mario that has ever been conceived. The purpose? To commemorate the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. So while your grandchildren might not be too impressed with this pile of fecal drivel, the extra shine emitted from this land mass might help you get a piece of silver-streaked tail. But we’re not gonna lie, it probably won’t help much of anything.

If you’re that desperate obsessed with the Wii, check out the auction on eBay.

Link [via]

Oh, Grandpa you did it again. Brought home by the police for making a wrong turn and “accidentally” walking into the woman’s fitting room. What are we going to do about these old timers constantly getting lost in the shuffle? Some student researchers are playing around with the idea of including GPS connected through WiFi on walkers.

This way, patients at nursing centers would be able to take care of themselves better, without their forgetful minds causing them to take a wrong turn at the cafeteria, and instead walk into the secret senior torture dungeon. — Andrew Dobrow

Link [via]

Senile senior citizens cannot be trusted. As much as I love to laugh at the frequently falling and hip-breaking demographic, I also know a life with seniors is no picnic. As senility wins over their feeble tissue masses which used to be called active and functioning brains, they start reverting back to simple childhood curiosities.

The difference is, that seniors actually have the means to drink the chemicals under the sink, provided they don’t break a bone while scurrying over to the kitchen. The Health Guard concept designed for Nokia uses RFID technology to monitor what the golden oldie consumes. Whether it be expired food, medicine, or possible allergens, they are bound to get into something they shouldn’t be getting into. The two-way Health Guard keeps tabs on their absent-minded consumption. If they’re really such a burden you could always take a blind eye, though that could be grounds for murder charges, and you aren’t a murderer, are you? (more…)