A standard tool of the trade for all responsible Boy Scout’s is a Swiss Army Knife. There is no tool more well-suited for a future man, since guns are a little too harsh for 9 year olds. Now we know girl’s are mostly more delicate than the rough-and-tumble nature or boys. That’s why Boy Scout’s don’t sell cookies. It would be a besmearing to their future raging testicles.

So what tool does a Girl Scout use to replace the hell-raising army knife? The Swiss Peace Knife is a great tool for the Girl Scout and the peacenik alike. Featuring a pill box, bandages, disinfectant spray and a whistle instead of assorted knives, shovels, beer bottle openers, and other goodies. On second thought, with the amount of sexual abuse in the Boy Scout’s these days, a rape whistle might not be a bad idea. — Andrew Dobrow

Link