Would you pay $80 for a blanket that wraps around you and holds a baby in a very, very loose and unsafe manner? Of course you would! Millions already have! That’s how it works here in America. They make a stupid blanket with some holes in it and you pay for it. What is wrong with the world today?
It’s 10pm. Do you know where your children are?
Chances are they’ve caught on to a strange new trend developed by David Edwards. Dave makes Le Whif breathable chocolate and it’s the new trend that’s shocking parents around the nation. You simply use the inhaler-like device to breath in particles of chocolate. At $4 a pop, this is an expensive habit for your young ones. Let’s see what parents around Long Island, NY think about it:
“Oh my gawd! I’ve got to go through their rooms now!” -Sheila Yablonski
“Chaw-co-lete? Why would kids want to whiff chocolate? It makes no sense. It makes no sense.” -Patricia Lovington
“Where do you buy them? I need to get some for research purposes.” -Roseanne Barr
There you have it folks. Whiffable chocolate is taking over our children and our minds.
Have parents begging to relive the ’60s with a dash of 21st century technology? Then get them this funky pillow. It has a built-in MP3 player with speakers and comes in the shape of a boombox, cellphone or guitar. They come in tye dye coloring, so if you’re trying to keep it classy, don’t go looking here. It even has a built-in AM/FM radio so they can listen to NPR. For $25, you probably won’t find a better present for Mother’s and Father’s Day.
When you have an infant, you must warm up milk in a bottle for them to gulp down. However, too cold and the child will bitch and moan. Too hot, and Child Protection Services will be knocking at your door for reasons unknown. Cut the bullshit and just get this temperature-sensitive bottle from designers Hung Cheng, Tzu-Yu Huang, Tzu-Wei Wang, and Yu-Wei Xiang. If it’s too hot, the red face appears. When the temperature is jussssst right, it turns green. Even you can figure that one out, I hope.
