Did you get a ticket for talking on your cellphone while driving? Man, that sucks. Well, do something about it, get a headset. Better yet, get a headset to feed your nicotine addiction. Making calls is as easy as shouting into this cigarette box.

It’s designed for Nokia/Samsung/Sony Ericsson cellphones or people trying to get over cancer by reminding themselves that this pack is not smokeable. It’s the headset that doesn’t mind getting coughed all over, after all, it’s used to it. I’m amazed by the fact that this $6.79 headset is not only cheaper than a lot of headsets, but it’s also cheaper than cigarettes. What the fuck?

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Is 9:15AM too early to drink? Seriously, you can be straight with me. Because at the moment, I’m desperately craving one of these Beerhandles. For $10, it snaps on to my beer can so that I can hold it like a mug. Why don’t I just hold the can? Because I sweat too much. It’s a glandular problem and the doctors say it’ll be another eight months before it stops. OK? Just pass me a Bud Light and we’ll call it a day.

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Despite popular belief, you can have your tools and eat them too. The classic screwdriver is made with a red cheap plastic base. You can find them in your local children’s toy tool kit. With the Screwdriver Lollipop, you can have the same classic novelty without the synthetic materials. OK, well it’s prob still made of synhetic materials, but at least it’s edible.

The glances you’ll get walking down the street, sucking on a standard tool, should be worth every cent of the $4.46 it will cost you to order one. Available in apple, cherry, and orange flavors. — Andrew Dobrow

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Remember these things? They are called “cassette tapes” and were widely used in the 80’s and early-90’s. What was the single most popular music format for over a decade, is now being used as novelty fashion products. Hand-made using real used cassette tapes, the Cassette Wallet screams memories of our old Warrant and Poison cassettes. Made by designer Marcella Foschi, the wallet is made from old Italian tapes pulled from the vault of obsolete technology.

Available in 6 different models, the Cassette Wallet is sure to be a conversation starter. Available for $36 while still in stock. — Andrew Dobrow

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We spotted this Quackers Punk Duck and fell in love. It’s such a nice remake of the traditional yellow rubber ducky made famous from Ernie on Sesame Street. This duck wouldn’t put up with Ernie’s crap. The movement that turned a generation into rebels has created something so much more worth while. Novelty ducks! Complete with spiked choker necklace, a silver mohawk, and a bitchy expression.

Spice up bath time with the Quackers Punk Duck for £5.99 from Totally Funky. Just make sure the little rascal doesn’t spit in your face or start calling you a “wanker”. — Andrew Dobrow

Product Page [Totally Funky, via Retro To Go]

We’ve seen our share of cool Ping-Pong tables. No doubt that the Cylinder Ping-Pong Pipe Table is a hell of a design. But how long could the novelty driven fun really last?

Yes, it would make a nice looking center piece for your penthouse. Yes, it would most likely be a fun time to spend a few minutes. But the whole beauty of Ping-Pong is not having those boundries. We want to be able to hit the ball to the moon if possible.

No doubt this table would be interesting and most likely a lot of fun. But the old flat table will be right where you left it when you come crawling back. Now, if they made the outside look better, and not just like a tree trunk wrapped in yellow tape, the design would be worth the loss of interest.

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