Duck for cover! The Pentagon has been the victim of a cyber attack! The weapon in question is a hybrid computer worm rapidly spreading throughout the Pentagon’s thousands of interconnected defense computer networks. No worries, though. The Department of Defense has taken steps to slowing the worm’s advancement by quarantining networks and systems until its removal.

Though the entry point of the worm is unknown, inside sources have reason to believe that removable storage devices are to blame.As a result of this, the Defense Department has banned the use of external hardware devices throughout a vast network of military computers. Do we have an intruder in our midst or just an accident brought on by some friendly pornographic websites?

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Is this a spy cam created by the military or is it Batman’s latest gadget? Of course it’s a piece of technology made by the military; Batman is a fictitious comic book character. The Army has awarded the University of Michigan College of Engineering a five year $10 million dollar grant to develop this robotic spy plane which bears an uncanny resemblance to a bat.

It’s called the COM-BAT and it’s concept was conceived by the US military for the purpose of gathering real-time data for soldiers. The folks behind the design are also huge fans of The Dark Knight. It’s a six-inch surveillance device that is powered by solar, wind and vibrations. So much for my idea of bat droppings as fuel.

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Dueling is a favorite pass time of mine but if you’re going to do it, you’ve got to be prepared. That’s why I wear one of these bulletproof handkerchiefs everywhere I go. Some mother fucker slaps me and challenges me to a duel, you bet your ass we’re meeting before sun down at the town square. Little does my opponent know that I’m equipped with the best booger protection in town.

Subtle and modest, it’ll also stop a bullet aimed at my heart. We’re talking military grade Kevlar, my friends. When it comes down to a life or death gun duel, you can’t settle for the cheap stuff.

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Since spy robots are all the rage these days, Britain’s Ministry of Defence is holding their “Grand Challenge” in England this weekend. Several teams of engineers are taking part in the event, which is dedicated to developing new military technology. The winner of the challenge will receive lucrative government weapons contracts.

Devices being tested at the Grand Challenge must be autonomous and suited for reconnaissance missions. The event has been criticized because some of the teams designing the war machines have members as young as 12 years old.

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