It’s not surprise your house is bugged by the CIA. After all, you did conspire with Colonel Sanders on a dirty bomb made from re-fried mac and cheese. Right now you’re in a tight place and every word you say can be used against you when you’re getting fucked hard by a judge. Avoid doing hard time with this $70 Laser Surveillance Defeater. Slap one to your window and people listening in won’t be able to hear anything thanks to jamming frequencies made specifically for long-distance microphones.

You can always save the $70 but you’ll be dead within the hour. Make haste!

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Lots of cool skateboard designs pop-up on the web, but these laser-etched skateboard decks are some of the coolest we’ve seen yet. Would you get one of these to ride it or would you just hang it on a wall and frame it? This is one piece of art deserving admiration towards its creativity at every glance. After the jump, some of our favorites: (more…)

These laser-etched tools were created by artist Dan Funderburgh. Though not all of them serve an essential use, they all have exquisite detail and beautiful patterns that really make them pop. Intricate designs scatter across handles and blades. Let’s just be glad Dan didn’t go balls out like Craftsman.

If you want to check these out in person, Dan is showcasing his tools at the Riviera Gallery.

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Sure the Laser Target Alarm Clock might not be as exciting as these clocks are, so have a little heart. Besides, who doesn’t love carrying out their childhood fantasy of shooting their alarm clock every morning before hauling ass to the coal mines?

There really isn’t much to this and that’s what I love. You have a really basic clock with a bulls-eye target on top that you shoot with a laser-based remote control. Simple enough for anyone. There’s some bullshit about how it helps hand-eye coordination but it’s not like you need that when you get up; let your toothbrush take care of that. It’s out of stock currently but should be back soon for $40.

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If male haircare had a placebo pill, the X5 Hairlaser would be it. While we don’t have any scientific proof to back up that the laser is just some gimmick, the X5’s descriptive method of  blasting, “15 distinct points of coherent laser light directly to your scalp at the optimum power and wavelength,” sounds like a quote straight from an Ed Wood film.

If you’ve tried other methods, and are still losing more and more hair, and really don’t want to wear a wig or look like Britney Spears, then we guess you’re desperate enough to try out anything, and the X5 Hairlaser could very unlikely be the one that works for you. Get yours for the price of $300. — Andrew Dobrow

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Bare with us for a second. Let’s delve into the workings of antimatter. When antimatter is mixed with its opposing counterpart, most commonly referred to as matter (or as we call it, stuff), both explode in a gamma radiation-producing frenzy. Though if you can stabilize the two opposing factors, you acquire a material called positronium.

This being said, it basically translates into one very kick-ass giant ass fucking laser beam. The UC Riverside scientists held a piece of positronium active for a record 100 nanoseconds. While this could eventually lead to discovering why so little anti-matter exists in the universe, the only question we have is “can we get some fricken’ sharks with fricken’ positronium lasers on their fricken’ heads?” — Andrew Dobrow

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It is the problem that has been making Sony execs cry: Blue-Laser Diodes. Well, the diodes aren’t the problem, the problem is the fact that no one can seem to be able to produce enough of them. Why Sony? Because Blu-Ray drives are a huge part of what they are doing right now. Blu-Ray is built into the PlayStation3 and the new round of Blu-Ray drives. Because of the lack of the diodes, the prices of the drives are sky high, and the lack of PS3s is also due to the deficit.

Sharp is giving Sony a reason to celebrate. Sharp has begun to produce the blue-laser diodes for use in all of the Blu-Ray devices. As of now, Sharp as produces 150,000 diodes which will be fought over by Blu-Ray and HD-DVD drive manufacturers (HD-DVD uses blue-laser diodes as well). So more PS3s? Probably. Will anyone buy them?….. Definitely. — Nik Gomez

Sharp begins Mass-Production of Blue-Laser Diodes [Gizmowatch]