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PIMPtendo: Never Enough Zebra Skin

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Calling all gaming pimps! Have you been hesitant to purchase the NES console just because its retro design doesn’t fit in with your modern pimp decor? Fahgetaboutit. This custom designed PIMPtendo (actually called PIMPendo, but the extra “T” makes it sound so much better) can be be yours for $150, or as low as $50 if you want to bid on the item.

This completely refurbished NES system has been pimpified, including added LEDs which make the innards of the system glow red when it’s powered on, a new zebra skin finish, gems galore, Plexiglas, a peacock feather and the most important addition, purple frill.

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Will You HEMI Me?

If a NASCAR race is you and your partner’s idea of a lovely date, then we’ve got a ring that’ll really help you out when it comes time to pop the question. It’s a HEMI ring. As in, it’s modeled after a Dodge HEMI engine. There are rubies in the blower and it’s made entirely of sterling silver.

At $400, it’s a bit pricey but nothing compared to a decent engagement ring. Just make sure you have a real Dodge HEMI-equipped car in the garage, ’cause you’re going to need it once your fiance flips shit because you didn’t get her diamonds. Hey, at least you don’t have to water it every day.

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Be the king of bling with the Hublot Million Dollar Watch

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Yo, dawg. We gots a question for y’all homeboys. Is there such thing as too much bling? Normally that answer would be, “Umm, we don’t think so, but ask Lil’ John.” But this addition to the Hublot series of Big Bang watches makes us believe that there is indeed the possibility to have to much ice around your wrist.

With a staggering 493 (count ‘em) diamonds and gems encased in a setting of 18K white gold. If that isn’t luxurious enough, take into account that this a a one-of-a-kind watch which took over 2,000 hours of manpower to produce. Ha, we wish we were joking on that one. Don’t get your piggy banks out just yet. This exclusive watch has already been sold. To a rapper we presume. — Andrew Dobrow

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