The next time someone really pisses you off and you want to get back at them, buy them a birthday present they’re sure to hate. Like the Strawberry Slicer. Who in their right mind needs a strawberry cut up this much? Grab a fucking knife and chop twice and you’re done. At $6, it won’t bust your wallet and will make a great gag gift.
Co-worker a huge dick? Get him back this holiday season at the company’s holiday party. These condoms don’t actually contain a rubber but instead have a bunch of paper clips inside. Loudly announce to your co-workers that you think your co-worker left his set of condoms on his desk, flashing the paper clip set around for all to see. He’ll be embarrassed, until he realizes he’s been screwed over by a set of paper clips. It’s OK. He’ll use them for filing the extra reports he now has to do.
I’m sure you and your friends think your ex is a real cunt, but is that any way to talk to a lady? Absolutely not. Alternatively, you could get her this thong. Aside from the fact that a thong just screams class, this one says “YOU ARE VISITOR: 002637″ on the front part. She’ll not only hate you getting it for her, but she’ll also use it to get revenge when your best friend goes to fuck her during your grad party.
Apparently, the iPhone is still fodder for shitty jokes and tasteless products.
Case in point: the iCondom. With a box strikingly similar to Apple’s flagship telecommunications device, it’s no humongous 3G iPhone but it’s packed with goodies that are meant to be touched. iMemory, iLight, iTree and iFood are all part of the iCondom package. Allow me to inform you a bit about the iMemory:
This condom is made of latex of the special formula which possesses effect of memory. It is enough to you to put on a condom right at the beginning of the coitus on standing penis and after that you can forget about possible weakening of erection during the coitus.
Do you hear that? That’s right, it’s awkward silence. Awkward silence because the iTree helps your girlfriend take it up the butt. Luckily iCondom is pre-order only for now. God knows what would happen if these showed up in Apple stores across the country.
