Gearfuse

If you’re not familiar with the Madden curse, it is the bizarre coincidence that every player to land the cover spot of a Madden video game has faced an injury or other major set-back which effected their playing ability during the season they are featured. Eerily enough, this coincidence has maintained consistency since 1999, when players began to be featured on the cover of Madden games.

This year, the curse continues, as Steelers’ safety Troy Polamalu was injured in the first half of the first game of the season, while trying to recover a blocked field goal. I know that injuries are common in football, but if I was Larry Fitzgerald I’d watch my back.

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Imagine an army of  ten grumpy old ladies, demanding you get off their very large and well-groomed lawn. Sounds like a fun way to spend my Friday night.

These days, when your Grandma isn’t indoors jamming on her Wii, she’s outside kicking some elderly ass on the soccer field. Just look at Mrs. Doubtfire. Grab your own Granny Mini-Foosball table for around $33.

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I can hardly pretend to love soccer with the same devotion as some of you. Here’s how you know someone doesn’t love soccer as much as you. Number one, they don’t drink tea at a certain time every day. Two, they drive on the right side of the road. Three, they say mile instead of kilometer.

But if you are one of those soccer-frenzied hooligans and don’t mind a little decapitation to go with your data storage, these World Cup Player USB drives might be a nifty little gadget to tote around in your pocket.

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Soccer, football, futbol, tomato, tomahto (who the hell says tomahto anyway? Is it you ya friggen Canadians?) Whichever name you choose for the sport, there is no denying that it’s a fun game. If you’ve ever been in a situation where you wish you had grabbed a ball before you left home, Marti Guixe’s Football Tape might be a nice investment, even if its only to keep in your glove compartment for a boring moment.

Working sort of like a ball of rubber bands, just unravel the tape and wrap it around until you’ve made your very own impromptu soccer ball. It might not be quite like the real thing, but it should keep you busy for a while.

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If you’re old enough, you’ll remember the days of LED football. Cut the shit, pops. You know exactly what game I’m talking about. Move the lights, run the ball, score the TDs. The problem is, those old units are either long gone, broken or being sold on eBay in mint condition. Why bother with that hassle? You clearly need LED Football 2 for the iPhone. It’ll cost you just one buck to download it from the App Store and it even has the old school look and feel of games past.

I mean come on. Can you really resist that big orange “PASS” button? I didn’t think so.

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If you’re a football fan with a broadband Internet connection, your weekend just got a whole lot better. The NFL has launched a service called “Game Rewind” that will retail for $19.99 for the season or $4.99 a week. The service lets you watch all the football games you can handle in HD quality with no commercials. Awesome, right? It doesn’t end there.

You’ll also get the ability to watch four games at once, chat with other fans and complete DVR functionality. Want to rewind to see that interception Drew Brees threw? You got it, champ. Keep in mind, this is a web-based service so you’ll need a way to bring out the picture if you plan on watching the games with your boys.

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Unlike the MLB or NHL, the NFL understands the importance of a perfectly good game of sports playing on the Internet. Without cable or satellite, you’re going to be missing a lot of games or making plenty of trips to your local sports bar. But now, thanks to the webs, you can sit at home in your underwear with a bag of chips and watch games for free.

This is a joint venture between NBC Universal and the NFL, so don’t expect any ESPN Monday Night Football or FOX broadcasts. Still, any football is good football.

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This just in, we’re getting reports that with the release of Madden ‘09, Jesus Christ is no longer needed. Teens across the country who once believed that Jesus was the next messiah have been lining up outside Gamestops across the country at midnight and proclaiming that the game is “off the fucking chain, yo.”

“I ain’t got no time for God an’ shit” says Anthony Dominguez, 22. “I’m tryin’ to, ya know, buy this motherfucker for the 360 then play it all fuckin’ day, ya feel me dawg? I even took off work tomorrow and called my shorty to make my b-fast.”

With the inclusion of Brett Favre as a NY Jet, rumor is it a 2.4 magnitude earthquake will occur outside the Circuit City in Pasedena, CA. $60 and your pride Madden ‘09 will cost ya.

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Apparently robots partaking in athletics is becoming a recognized venue. I’m not talking about Battle Bots, although I’ve heard that the show is planned to make a comeback. I’m talking about straight-up American football (ironically taking place in Japan.)

The video above shows two teams consisting of pure robotics, battling it out on a mini-Football field. Now, these bots aren’t quite up to snuff with say, the NFL. Not yet at least. It’s more along the lines of Foosball. Their small stature and fragile frames couldn’t withstand a bulky linebackers tackle, but they are really fricken fast. — Andrew Dobrow

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If you’re too lazy to play ball with your dog, turn the projector on. — Sam Chan

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