Anyone who has ever played Cooking Mama knows what a sweet heart the protagonist, Mama, is. PETA, on the other hand, has a different take on Majesco’s cooking franchise for the Nintendo Wii and DS. To PETA, Mama is an evil witch hellbent on killing innocent turkeys for this upcoming Thanksgiving.

In this Flash game, you’ll go through each preparation of the turkey, from plucking its feathers to stuffing it. At the end of each level you’ll be rewarded with a PETA fact that’ll have you feeling bad about cooking turkey. That, or it will just make you want to cook more turkeys. The game is twisted, but very well done. It’s up there with Super Obama World.

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Sorry to burst your bubble, pirates, but it seems that Nintendo’s next handheld unit will block flash carts used for pirating games. It took Nintendo a long enough time to take legal action against the creators of such flash carts as the R4 or N5, now it’s making damn sure that no one is going to illegally emulate its games.

The following flash carts are confirmed not to work on the Nintendo DSi:

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It seems like you can make a Guinness World Record out of any feat these days. Last year, 381 Australian kids set the Guinness World Record for simultaneous Nintendo DS playing. I wonder if there’s a Guinness World Record for most people standing around in Times Square with a thumb in their ass.

Tomorrow, members of a UK DS fan group called DSLondon are going to take a crack at breaking last year’s simultaneous Nintendo DS playing record. DSLondon hopes to attract at least 500 DS gamers to the Rocket Complex on Holloway Road, London. In the area? Be a part of history. All you’ve got to do is show up with a DS and begin playing. What an easy record to break.

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After Nintendo’s dodgy business of denying the speculation of its new handheld’s existence, the company cracked, officially announcing the DSi. Could it be trying any harder to be an iPhone? Nintendo cut the GBA slot from its Lite model, meaning no more backwards compatibly for you Pokemon-lovers. To make up for this loss, the screens are 17 percent larger and the whole unit is 2.6mm thinner than the DS Lite. As speculated, it will come packed with a VGA camera and it’s got music playback. What wasn’t mentioned was the on-board memory, built-in Web browser and SD slots enabling the transfer of images to the Wii Photo Channel.

The DSi is starting to sound more and more like an Apple product. Nintendo will even be launching a DSi store that’ll release downloadable content via WiFi. Look for Nintendo’s new handheld November 1st if you’re in Japan and have $180 bucks on you. If you’re in America, you’ll just have to wait.

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Over the weekend, Kotaku posted a report from Nikkei Net suspecting Nintendo of planning to release its next incarnation of the Nintendo DS. There is speculation that the new DS will include a built-in camera and music playback as well as improved wireless functions. According to Nikkei Net, the new version is expected to be priced below $190 dollars.

As of now, Nintendo has yet to confirm anything and until an official announcement is made from the company itself, I won’t believe a word from anyone. However, the built-in camera sounds like a Nintendo idea. This will give them a chance to shit out the next line of Wario games that revolves around taking pictures. Oooh, sounds fun!

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Eric Ruckman was one individual disappointed by Guitar Hero: On Tour’s guitar peripheral for the DS. So, in an effort to form gameplay more faithful to the original Guitar Hero, Eric found a wireless PS2 guitar that no one wanted and cut a hole in the controller, removing all the guts. He then managed to connect the buttons of the guitar to the DS by means of wiring though the adapter. Eric is now able to play this one game on his DS with a console Guitar Hero guitar.

This bitchin’ guitar mod even has an FM transmitter in it that allows him to play the Nintendo DS’ sound through his home stereo system. Awesome job, Eric!

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If you’re a Twitter whore and you just so happen to own a Nintendo DS, then you’ll be pleased to know that accessing Twitter is now possible on your portable gaming system. Unfortunately, it’s only in Spanish at the moment, but if you’re desperate to let everyone know when you’re eating and shitting then I’m sure you can get around the language barrier. DSTwitter is free, all you’ve got to do is follow these steps:

Prepare a memory card (R4DS) and the DS’s WiFi connection.

Register to the Scene Beta website. Username and email required.

Download the DSTwitter 1.3 .RAR file.

Extract the contents “in the root of the memory card.”

Input Twitter login.

Run the program.

Before you know it you’ll be Twitter-ing it up at a McDonalds WiFi hotspot, letting all your friends know that you just ate three big macs in a row. It’s interesting to see what fans will come up with in terms of development for the DS. As for myself,  I’m waiting for the TumblrDS in English, so thanks but no thanks.

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At long last, Nintendo has taken legal action towards companies developing and distributing DS pirating tools, such as the R5 or R4. Nintendo, backed by 54 game software companies including Capcom, SNK, Taito, Tecmo and Square Enix are filing a lawsuit with the Tokyo District Court against companies that profit from Nintendo’s losses.

Nintendo stated that this piracy, “is causing severe damage to our company and software makers, and this is something that we cannot possibly overlook.”

Overlooking it for the past four years was a bad idea, Nintendo. Maybe if you cranked out more drinking games, people wouldn’t find the need to steal your software. To be fair, it is easier to download games from home than to drive to your local retail store. Pirates are lazy.

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So, you thought Nintendo DS had nothing more to offer than some Nintendogs and Pur Pals? Think again, you wannabe veterinarian. A new Grand Theft Auto was announced exclusively for the Nintendo DS. Bringing a whole new storyline to Liberty City, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars will be your one (and only) chance to show those Triads that you don’t fuck around, you mean business.

Being the first GTA title for the DS, you can bet there will be a custom game engine designed for the game that will utilize the DS’s touch screen, though no specific details have been announced. We’re just hoping it has the classic top-down view from the original Grand Theft Auto we all know and love.

Chinatown will require players to “uncover the truth behind an epic tale of crime and corruption within the Triad crime syndicate,” says Rockstar.

Wait.. “an epic tale of crime and corruption?” Where have I heard this before? Hit the jump to find out:

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We’ve talked previously about how the Nintendo DS can be used in all kinds of fun ways, including both homebrew and music. The fine folks over at Remaincalm.org have rounded up 25 pieces of audio software for your enjoyment. You’ll find everything here: drum machines, sequences, mixers, loopers, bit crush filters, trackers, MIDI interfaces, samplers, synths and so much more.

After giving this list a go, you’ll be creating so many beats on your DS that people are going to start calling you Fatboy Slim. It’s probably due to your addiction to cheese puffs, though; not because you’re producing good music.

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