You can never have enough desktop companions cluttering your desk and cramping your monitor. This reptilian USB friend is indigenous to cum-ridden desks everywhere and comes in three extreme colors: green, orange and yellow. Just plug it into your computer and it’ll rotate its eyes and randomly flick its tongue. It’s almost like a real chameleon; a real chameleon made of plastic.

For $25.33, you’re going to feel ripped off at the fact that this reptile doesn’t change colors like every other chameleon on the planet. On the other hand, it’s a great accessory to have resting on top of your monitor so it can stare at you yearningly while you masturbate in front of it.

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Now this is just a longshot but I think that designer Dale Mathis might be into cars. I mean I’m no expert but I would imagine that a coffee table full of car parts and metal would appeal to the automobile enthusiast. The gears move in continuity together as you sit on your couch, eyes gazing down upon pound after pound of metal.

At $21,000, it’s a cool table and all but expensive as shit. I could see this table at a Ferrari dealership or an upper-scale custom motorcycle shop. Ryan’s living room? Not so much.

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Laptops are a pain in the ass to relax with if you’re not sitting at a desk. Thankfully, there are alternatives to burning a hole in your crotch. FeDom is marketing a notebook desk with built-in 2.1 speakers as well as cooling fans. The desk is compatible with a bunch of operating systems, including those still stuck using Win98 SE. It can be powered via USB or with four D-cell batteries; the more power options, the better. The legs fold in for an easily storable desk for all you pack rats scrounging for space. Now that’s convenience!
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This muscley-looking plastic meat head doesn’t want to kick sand in your face like all of those dudes at the beach. Oh, no. His motive is much more harmless. All he wants to do is light your room with his included Statue of Liberty-esque lamp, and hold onto your iPod or iPhone as it charges. Really, he’s a nice fellow.

Don’t let his rippling white biceps scare you. He’s not here to take advantage of your wife like the paperboy and the poolboy… and the pizza delivery guy… and possibly your brother. Nope. He’s here to lend a helping hand! Standing 12-inches tall, he’s no competition compared to your manly physique. You can buy him yourself for a whopping $200 (ouch!) or you can just, I dunno, get a flashlight and just keep your device on the desk while it charges. (more…)

The Rubik’s puzzle has long been known for its cube-shaped colorfulness. Despite a few exceptions, the Rubik’s Cube remains just that, a six colored cube. What if you were to take the Rubik’s Cube, and mold it into the shape of a ball. You’d have something that looks eerily similar to the 3D IQ Sphere.

The 70 mm diameter of the IQ Sphere serves as both a brain activity and a sweet piece of nerd decoration for your desk, not to mention, it’s probably the only Rubik’s themed puzzle which you can throw a curve ball with. Get your own for $9. (more…)

Much of the atmosphere of a bar is set with the dim lighting and bright hue of neon lights. There’s something about that contrast that is alluring. The USB Neon Sign allows you to have your own neon goodness right on your own desk.

The sign is available in three designs, including the @ symbol, a smiley face, and of course, the word “bar”. Depending on your vice of choice, whether it be geekery, happiness, or the sauce, there is a sign ready for you to purchase. Get yours for around $20. (more…)

Yes, it’s a familiar image. Sitting in front of the computer with your toned, well-oiled, rippling muscles glimmering under the desk light’s glow. But after a while, your toned physique starts turning into goo, until you’ve lost so much muscle tone you can barely lift up a pen to jot down a note.

Springflex clamps right onto your desk, offering up to 120 different exercises to keep your muscles bulging and to make sure your pecs don’t devolve into massive breasts. Get your own for $90. — Andrew Dobrow

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Are you sick up to your ears of constantly buying new memory cards, only to have them lost somewhere at the bottom of your desk’s junk drawer. Flash drives are much smaller than cans of beer, so naturally they are hard to keep an eye on. Designer Tom Kenworthy designed this Flash Memory Card Holder to cut this lost flash card crap. (more…)

Using the same uber-macho color scheme as the Battle-Rig Gamer Desk, the Corner V1 Computer Desk looks more like a drum set for one of those Rock Band games, with its circular mini-shelves and arm rests. The Vision One isn’t all bravado. It brings the noise, literally.

Fully optimized for 2.1 speaker support, the Vision One offers space for two speakers and a woofer. What we really love about it is the designated spots to rest your arms as you click away. Hell, you could probably even practice your drum solo on here. — Andrew Dobrow

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Think about this. In 50 years when everyone is working from home and is constantly sitting at a desk, there is going to be some major problems with atrophy of the limbs. The Lindo Hip Desk allows you to have some work space even when you are standing and doing house work.

Two prongs jut out of the device, allowing you to place your laptop, a drawing table, or even a food tray right at belt level. Sure it doesn’t have the bells and whistles of the Hip Disk, but I’ve lost enough muscle mass already by playing video games. I need something to keep my blood flowing free. — Andrew Dobrow

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