When we last heard about Jimmy Lemke the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee senior was in deep trouble for trying to plan a block party on Facebook. More than 5,000 people signed up to attend Jimmy’s big bash last weekend and the huge guest list caused local cops and university officials to crack down on the party. Jimmy was told to cancel the fiesta and warned that he would face serious consequences if anyone showed up ready to rock out. I checked in with Jimmy to see if he survived his social networking ordeal.

I got in touch with Jimmy through, what else, a message on Facebook to see how things went last. Jimmy told me that there were “no problems” and that “everything worked out well.” It looks like Jimmy learned from his bad Facebook experience, because he didn’t respond when I sent him a second message asking for more info about what went down. Perhaps Jimmy Lemke’s wisely decided to stay away from Facebook for awhile.

A University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee student named Jimmy Lemke tried to plan a block party on Facebook and now he’s in hot water with school officials, his neighbors, and the local SWAT team.

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Everybody knows it can be dangerous to have porn on your computer at work, but now it seems like none of your files are safe from prying eyes. Thanks to some recent court rulings and new policies at the Department of Homeland Security, any traveler crossing the US border can have their laptops and other electronic devices seized and examined by the feds.

There are tips for encrypting your data online, but it seems like old fashioned password protection is still the best way to go. Still, even that’s not a sure thing. For the time being, it’s probably not a good idea to have anything on your computer or camera that you wouldn’t want to share with the US government while traveling abroad.

Next time I cross the border I plan on bringing nothing but a flash drive stocked with explicit pictures– of my fat white ass. Search that fools!

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[Photo: Nat'l Archives]

“The public are the best weapon for fighting crime,” says United Kingdom’s Home Secretary Jacqui Smith after introducing a new approach to criminal statistical surveillance earlier this month. Once police in England and Wales started publishing their monthly crime statistics, giving the public more information on local crime information, they knew they had to take it one step further. The government plans for a system of interactive maps showing the public when and where crimes have happened, so everyone can get in on beating up the local thug.

“By rolling out up-to-date, interactive crime maps we can better inform people about crime problems in their area and enable them to have much more of a say in what their local police focus on,” Jacqui Smith added.

Quite frankly, I don’t give two shits where the criminals are, so long as they’re no where near me. The law is taking matters into it’s own hands, cause they’re pissed at Google.  By the end of the year, every neighborhood in England and Wales will have access to local crime information. The police are thinking, “can’t someone else do it?” I foresee multiple citizen arrests.

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Ever wonder where your bootleg movies come from? If you live near Texas chances are they might have been made at a house in Fort Worth where the police just shut down a huge DVD counterfeiting ring. After receiving a complaint from a neighbor who saw a lot of late night activity at the house, the cops searched the place and found a bootleg movie factory filled with over 100 high speed DVD burners and piles of cash.

Inside the house, the DVD pirates were printing nearly 7,000 discs per hour and the police say they had burners ” alt=”" />DVD jewelers with some of the leftover discs when they’re done with the evidence. Since these bootleg movie barons were so professional, I bet the police also found some of those slick DiscPainters during the raid.

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During the course of their neverending quest to get high, crackheads are often forced to play amateur scientists. They mix chemicals, experiment on their bodies, and make stoves out of common household products. Perhaps the most well-known piece of crack addict lab equipment is the glass pipe. Recently, I noticed a new twist on this infamous piece of drug paraphernalia at a Brooklyn bodega: ”glass ball pens” that are obviously just an excuse to sell pyrex tubes.

Lately law enforcement has been going after places that stock the glass-enclosed cloth roses that crackheads have traditionally used to smoke rock. These innovative new pens are designed to foil the pesky crack pipe bans. I doubt they write at all. Crackheads must be snatching up the pens fast, because when I stopped by today to take a picture of them with a real camera the guy behind the cash register told me they were all sold out.

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