Gearfuse

The cake really is a lie with these Portal T-Shirts from ThinkGeek. The pair of shirts work in tandem to create the illusion of teleportation, using LCD TFT displays and an embedded 5.8 GHz wireless pinhole camera.

The t-shirt only comes in pairs and are only available in blue and orange, but I don’t think that will stop you from having some amazing Portal fun for only $100. Yes, expensive for a pair of t-shirts, but with the display and camera added into the price, I’d say it’s a pretty good deal.

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I posted this over on my Posterous blog, but I couldn’t resist sharing this with my fellow GEARheads as well. The Two Girls, One-Up T-Shirt mashes together the iconic disgustingness of the Two Girls, One Cup video and the awesomeness of the ladies from Super Mario Bros.

You can pre-order the shirt for $17.95. It’s scheduled to ship on September 5, 2009. If you can’t think of an appropriate time to wear it, just pick up a Two Girls, One Cup skateboard. You’ll match perfectly when you head out to grind the curbs.

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Tonight, when you sit down for your nightly glass of fresh human blood, please remember to follow the rules of basic vampire hygiene. Nobody likes to walk in to a musky study to find a man with a blood mustache. It just wouldn’t be fair to any visitors.

The Blood Mustache t-shirt illustrates the ugly result of forgetting a napkin as you sip away at your latest kill. Please, for the love of Satan, drink safely and always have a designated slayer.

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Because I sure as hell would. Women’s only or not. I’d be all up in them. The perfect outfit for riding along in my super manly, and not homosexual at all bubblegum Hummer.

Call me effeminate, I don’t care. At least I’ll look sexy in my Gumball Pants.

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Would life be easier or more complicated if Tetris was played using an airplane? Well, at least we can promise one fact with certainty; it would be a hell of a lot more expensive.

As you all as my witnesses, one day, when I move out of my humble cardboard box, I will play Tetris using an airplane, oh yes, I will play Tetris from an airplane. And don’t worry about casualties. I’ll have the money to pay off their kin. Or at least I’ll have enough money for an delicious automatic weapon.

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If you’ve ever delved into the world of fantasy, and really, who hasn’t at some point, you likely understand that while your mind is a powerful device, one thing it isn’t capable of doing is allowing you to feel the press of authentic fantasy gear against your skin.

This geek family takes their Narnia play very seriously. So seriously that they decided it really wouldn’t be a worthwhile experience unless they made their own Narnia themed outfits. The family created a full-regalia outfit for all four of the Pevensie children (that’s Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy for those of you not cool enough) including gauntlets and chain mail. Much more after the jump.

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Some Transformers are better at disguising themselves than others. Some like to add a little sophistication to their disguise. And a few just don’t understand the concept of deception.

This Robots In Bad Disguises t-shirt shows what happens when a Transformer is under-educated in the art of deception. Master of disguise, he is not. Though I am digging the facial hair.

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Don’t let outward appearances misguide you. This simple Capcom Resident Evil shirt from Comic-Con might seem like a harmless plug for a video game, but flip the shirt over your face, half Cornholio-style, and  you might be mistaken as a zombie on the prowl.

Brains aren’t for everyone, but somebody’s gotta do it. It’s the circle of undead.

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Within those hours upon hours of playing around with Super Mario Bros. we figured there must have been some sort of life lesson. We convinced our parents that the game was teaching us indispensable hand-eye coordination skills. But there was another hidden message that, unbeknown to us, would teach us all we needed to know for our adult years.

The Money, Power, Woman Mario shirt illustrates just how the progress of life works. Much like the wise-woman Lil’ Kim once said “First you get the muthafuckin’ money, then you get the mothafuckin’ powah.” Now, third, she said you get respect. But screw respect. We want some poon-tang.

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If realism were a reality, rather than a philosophical perspective, the world as we know it would change before are eyes. For one thing, there would be no more reality TV (clearly), and the classic “I Love (heart)…” t-shirts would look a little different.

The “I Love Realism” t-shirt illustrates just how different life would be if reality really was reality. An anatomical heart replaces the heart symbol on this anti-abstract tee. I imagine playing poker would have a whole new gory spin as well. Can you stomach the four of hearts?

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