Gearfuse

In the winter I usually like to grow a full-blown beard, as it helps to keep my face warm and crisp through the harsh snowy season. My skin, on the other hand, has an issue with the hair growth and personally holds me accountable. I’m pretty confidant that I’m allergic to my own hair. I get patches of dry skin wherever I grow in my facial hair — dry skin that remains crusted unless I properly moisturize. It’s actually pretty distressing.

These Mustache Gloves would save me some time and some embarrassment. Not only would my upper lip be warm as I walk around with my finger settled just below my nose, but I’d also get to look like a French aristocrat if I so desired, thanks to the two different mustache options provided by the gloves. They also offer discrete finger sniffing! You can grab a pair on sale for $65, usually $95.

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Dentsu Inc, Japan’s largest advertising agency, is aiding Nintendo in launching a video distribution service on Nintendo’s home console, the Wii. The two companies plan to offer programs exclusive to the service, allowing old people and little kids to get down with some cartoons and other entertainment content.

However, nothing in this world is free (except Wii Sports) and viewers will need to pay to see some of the content the video service provides, while others will be offered free of charge so long as they can put up with some unsightly ads. Dentsu and Nintendo will start offering this new video service early next year, while American Wii owners are left in the dark.

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Melting plastic army men is loads of fun. Real army men, however – well, that’s an entirely different story. Dominic Wilcox either had a troubled childhood, or he was just as normal as the rest of us. After all, melting army men with a magnifying glass is every adolescent’s favorite pass time, right?

He’s taken this fun, yet childish activity and turned it into art by melting the army men together to form a bowl that he’s cleverly named War Bowl. The War Bowl comes in two versions: a blue Battle of Waterloo, Half British Artillery, half French Infantry and the white ‘English Civil War’ War Bowl. While you might not put anything in it, that’s not preventing it from looking awesome.

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The CAPTCHA process is famous for preventing spam and helping translate books. So, Jeffrey Augustine went back to third grade arts and crafts to create the Dream Captcha. It’s inspired by Native American dream catchers and the “Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart” used by many online sites to inhibit automated software from posing as you or I. Say goodbye to CAPTCHA nightmares and hello to sweet dreams.

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Despite not being a huge fan of the taste of Budweiser beer, I must admit it’s got balls as big as Irish girls ass. Budweiser is brewing a new American Ale as a gift for the rest of the world to relish in yeasty malty goodness. On the 29th this homage to American brewing will be purchasable in stores so you can binge drink the great old American way. Well, America isn’t that old, but we’re getting there! So here’s to Budweiser, for kicking it old school! U-S-A

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Although this isn’t the only phone that gives us wood, it does make us pop a hard one. After all, when it comes to using Skype or any other VOIP service, it’s tough to look cool talking into your monitor. But, with the Hulger Pappa*Phone, you can’t not look cool. It’d be impossible. In fact, you could call anyone on this phone and still come off as cool in front of anyone whose watching you shout into a wooden phone regarding Star Trek facts.

The phone is handcrafted from a single piece of American Walnut with polished brass in between that certainly would go well with that wooden scale you have.  For $300, it’s yours, but that price doesn’t include your up and coming Skype phone bill.

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Tuesday night at the National Clean Energy Summit, Mayor Bloomberg of New York City expressed his vision of a cleaner more green New York. He urged the need for energy-efficient design and proposed alternative methods of obtaining power, whether it be by wind or solar means. He goes as far as suggesting to add wind turbines to both the Brooklyn Bridge and Empire State Building, a move that would dramatically change the NYC skyline.

But with good intentions, Bloomberg hopes to cut greenhouse gas emissions in the city by 30% before 2030 making New York the cleanest air of any large American city.  Our hats are off to you Mr. Bloomberg, we wish more leaders cared about our well-being as much as you do.

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Coming this fall is Palm’s Treo Pro. It’s also the first Treo to support tri-band HSDPA (faster net speed) for 3G access on AT&T and additional carriers. The American launch will start out with an unlocked, carrier-independent version at $549 that’ll feature a sleeker design than previous Treos as well as a touchscreen and a button to quickly switch its built-in WiFi on or off. Forget that slow imitation GPS system too. The Treo Pro uses true GPS for navigation, because we all know how much getting lost sucks.

Now the question is: this or the iPhone?

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If you’re a real American, you buy American. Nothing beats a true Harley Davidson for touring the country, getting laid and fucking people up in bar fights. The new 2009 V-Rod Muscle motorcycle continues that tradition while also raising the bar for badass bikes everywhere.

You’ll find a liquid-cooled 1250cc Revolution V-Twin engine that outputs ~122 HP and 86 ft lbs of torque at 6500 RPMs. Check out the styling though. Specifically, the Brembo brakes, 240mm rear tire, dual straight shot side pipe exhausts and a generally clean look overall. At $18,000 it’s one of the most expensive motorcycles on the consumer market.

…but you know it’s so worth it.
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Let me tell you something, you silly goose. Grilling isn’t a way of cooking, it’s a way of survival. As in, if I don’t eat a fucking burger in the next 45 minutes, I’m going to die of starvation. At least I think so. Either way, you need the Longhorn Steer Grill. It’s not just a grill, it’s a grill shaped like a steer/bull. Think of the possibilities: parties, bar mitzvahs and so much more. You can even put a cowboy hat on the cow and everyone will laugh at your carefully crafted joke. Yeah, you’re that good.

Made by Traeger Grills, the Longhorn Steer Grill isn’t for the grilling novice who can’t appreciate the taste of Lea & Perrins. A grill that goes for $1700 demands the utmost respect and patience. In time, you’ll find that with the right amount of beef and concentration, your stomach can swell to over six hundred times its regular size. At least that’s what my uncle told me.

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