Gearfuse

That’s right, you heard me. You can take your smartphone and shove it up your ass.

This particular iPhone user was apparently not having a good day.

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I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, everything is better toasted. So it goes without saying that everything is equally better as a toaster.

Look, if you’re still using your VHS player, there’s no excuse. It’s time to make the jump. Retirement is long overdue. But at least you can use your old tape player to make your very own toaster, complete with a “VHS” stencil if you are so inclined. This eight step DIY project will have you toasting some beautiful white bread in hours.

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And I thought I wanted to have sex with my iPhone before this existed. The iPhone Corset dresses your Apple device in a naughty piece of nighty-wear, revealing just enough to tease the hell out of us while maintaining its womanly figure.

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The backstory remains unclear, but as they say, a photo speaks 1000 words.

Maybe Toby Maguire has been beating up hookers again. He told me he was going to give that shit up. Damn you, Toby! Why can’t you just snort coke off the hookers asses like every other normal human-being. You have to resort to violence?!

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Not quite completely fingerless, but just enough so that you can access your touch screen phone, the Etre Touchy Gloves keep your hands as warm as possible, covering all of your fingers except the thumb and forefinger. Sure, it might be mustache-free, but that’s the price you have to pay.

With only two fingers missing warmth, you might look a little silly, but the utility of not having to remove your gloves, and not being pushed away from wearing gloves in the first place, is so worth it. The winter chill is harsh, but so is not having any access to my iPhone. At least I can save my other three fingers from frostbite.

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Best Buy’s Black Friday ad has leaked, which means it’s time to do some serious itinerary planning for the big day. See, I like me and my fiancee set up a full contingency plan based on what we want the most for us, then comes gifts for others. Come on, we need to set priorities people! Strategy is the name of the game on Black Friday.

So Best Buy has some moderately cool deals, especially in the video game department, but nothing mind-blowing. Though what might be notable is that Best Buy is not going to allow for anyone to get hurt this year because of their doorbuster deals. Apparently they don’t take “death by stampede” lightly. All doorbuster sales will be handled via tickets, which will be passed out up to two hours before the 5 am door openings. Hit the jump for a full-list of Black Friday Best Buy deals. Doorbusters are followed by an asterisk.

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Imagine this. Let’s just say your name happens to be, oh, I don’t know, Fred Savage, and your grandfather happens to be a book obsessed Peter Falk impersonator. Say he walks into your bedroom one day when you’re coughing your ass off, I mean hacking up a fuckin’ lung, and he starts rambling about some six-fingered man and a rhyming giant. I know, you’d think to yourself, great, Grandpa has finally lost it and there’s nothing I can do about it. He’s probably going to murder me in my sleep and mom won’t care because she loves her batshit crazy father. Awesome.

But instead of murdering you, maybe Grandpa Pete just wants to gift upon you a miraculous piece of Princess Bride gadgetry. The Inigo Montoya Nametag iPhone case allows you to feel as though you too need to take revenge against the six-fingered man. Damn him and his extra limb of evil. Damn him to hell. But first, let’s make sure our iPhone doesn’t get scuffed up in the impending battle, shall we, hmmm?

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Soon to be quarantined after the nasty scabies epidemic, this MacBook for Pirates features a special Apple and crossbones logo design courtesy of Etsy user LastFuse (name thief that they be), selling their decal for only $2.50.

If the parrot, hat and eye patch didn’t tip them off, this decal sure will.

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I sort of feel bad. The LEGO minifig trying to eat my MacBook is clearly starving. Why else would you attempt to eat a perfectly good electronic? On the other hand, I’d much prefer my MacBook not have any further bite marks, barring the original bite mark of the Apple logo.

But no, I’ve had enough of this. My MacBook never did anything to warrant biting. Just go away minifig. You’re adorable and all, but enough’s enough. You can grab your own minifig MacBook decal for $14.

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Free Wi-Fi is great and all, but it’s sort of expected these days, especially from big chains. I want to know what else they can offer me.

Did you know that McDonald’s isn’t only offering free Wi-Fi, but they’re also going to provide the new and exclusive Wi-Fri service. More fries in more places! This genius ad spot is sure to turn some hungry heads.

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