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Trader Joe’s is Trying Too Hard

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Look, you don’t need to try this hard to attract geeks. All you need is to invest in an electronics section, even if all you sell is PS1 games and a few calculators, it’s the thought that counts and us geeks realize that. This plagiarist activity isn’t going to win you any brownie points.

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Guitar Hero 5 Track List and Playable Characters Unleashed

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This is actually a really decent playlist.

So, this is not an “official” list or anything. Which I guess makes it “unofficial.” But the extensive detail of the list, including playable musicians, leads me to believe that the detailed track list for Guitar Hero 5 will look something like the following:

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Tony Hawk RIDE Skateboard Controller

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How the Tony Hawk video game franchise keeps chugging along is beyond me, especially with the release of Skate 2. So to keep things fresh, the latest incarnation of the franchise, titled Tony Hawk RIDE, will feature an actual skateboard controller. See it down there? With all the buttons on the side? How the fuck is this thing going to work? I’m curious to find out. Look for it to hit the PS3, 360 and Wii sometime this year.

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Logitech’s $200 Guitar Hero Controller

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Holy smokes! For $200, you could buy a real guitar!

Look at this thing. Fake humbucker pickup, tremolo bridge, rosewood fretboard – this thing is over the top. It also apparently will get really good battery life and will work with both Rock Band and Guitar Hero titles. Hey, to each his own but I’m comfortable with the basic Fender Strat controller that comes with RB2.

Speak N’ Spellbinder: Circuit Bending Goodness

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Part Speak and Spell, part Guitar Hero controller, this device is the ultimate in circuit-bending. Riddled with knobs, switches and a 1/4″ output, the Speak N’ Spellbinder will no doubt crank out some of the craziest glitch your precious ears have ever heard. Don’t believe me? Hit the jump for a video of the madness.
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DIY: Banjo Hero

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Students at Rochester Institute of Technology were given the task of coming up with an alternative gaming controller last year. The result of one group of tinkerers is called “Oh No Banjo.” It’s an old wooden banjo hollowed out and gutted to become a Guitar Hero controller. Pretty cool, but from the looks of the pictures, these guys need to clean their dorm room stat.

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Guitar Hero Scarf Crocheted On Expert

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Well let’s see. If you were to purchase this scarf, I’d assume three things about you:

If any of those apply to you, chances are you’re already searching high and low for a way to purchase this beautiful handmade scarf. Featuring the actual patterns from the Muse song “Knights of Cydonia,” this scarf is guaranteed to warm any gamer up. And by guaranteed, I really mean you can use it to strangle your little brother when he kicks your ass in Expert mode.

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Turn Your iPhone/iPod Touch Into A MIDI Controller

The best things in life are free, no question about it. But even if it wasn’t free, I’d most likely buy iTouchMidi, a program for both OS X and Windows that will receive MIDI signals from your iPhone or iPod Touch via WiFi. Pretty insane right? Check out what this guy did with two iPod Touches and iTouchMidi software. He uses the touchscreens mounted to his guitar to control Ableton Live and pull off some Brian Eno-type shit. I’d keep writing but I’ve simply got to try this out for myself. I’ll report back with my findings, Cap’n!

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Logitech’s Premiere Edition Wireless Guitar Is Nicer Than The Real Thing

Yes! Even more Guitar Hero guitars that, much like the players, try desperately hard to be the real thing. This time around, Logitech is releasing the gorgeous Wireless Guitar Controller Premiere Edition for $250. Screw spending the $250 on a real guitar. Real guitars are for old people.

As far as fake guitars go, this thing leaves all the other guitar controllers in the dust. The body of the controller is solid, the neck is made of real wood, the frets and tuning peg handles are metal and the fingerboard is rosewood. It’s also on par with the Rock Band guitar controller in terms of a quiet strum bar. You’ll find this guitar more intricate than that Gibson Les Paul you never learned how to play. It’s compatible with the Playstation 2 and Playstation 3 versions of Guitar Hero titles.

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Afternoon Linkage for August 28th, 2008