Have you ever wondered how Stormtroopers spend their free time? Apparently they do more than prance around in fruity outfits. This massive collection of photos over at Fresh Pics gives us an insider’s look at the secret lives of Stormtroopers.
Looks like the dark side has a don’t ask, don’t tell policy.
Call them Garden Jawas, garden gnomes or garden dwarves, they’re all garden little people to me. You know how I’m always extremely politically correct. We wouldn’t want any midgets hating on Gearfuse, now would we? Little adorable buggers.
As long as it keeps its little hands off my droids, we’re cool.
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. That’s why it’s nice to get away to a place where every Wookie knows your name.
If Cheers had taken place in the Star Wars universe, Ted Danson would totally have been a Wookie. With that forehead, how could he not be. The thing is like a billboard.
Chewbacca’s roar. This is one talent I’ve always wanted, along with the ability to rip off the arms of a droid if they beat me in chess, but that’s another talent for another time. This sexy instructional video features an adorable geek chick unveiling the secrets of the Chewie roar. You’ll need to have some sort of control over your oral muscles, something which I unfortunately don’t seem to have and it would help to share the genes of a tiger, badger or bear.
I’m pretty sure the key to mastering the roar is practice, even if you feel sort of silly gurgling all by yourself. The only problem I see possibly facing is explaining away the guttural noises if someone walks in on you practicing.
Wear them as a necklace, wear them on a charm bracelet, shove them in you anus. It’s all in good fun! Right, random guy I met at the gym who promised to “clean my pipes,” whatever that means?! Stop looking at me!
While it might not have been Luke’s proudest moment, Han Solo saved Skywalker from certain death in the Empire Strikes Back by slicing open a freshly dead Tauntaun and shoving the unconscious Jedi into the depths of the animal’s guts. Still warm, the heat of the dead animal saved Luke from freezing to death in the harsh Hoth climate.
This Dead Tauntaun wedding cake briefly immortalized the iconic Tauntaun scene before it was quickly eaten, digested and shat out by wedding guests. Such is the circle of life.
Update: Thanks to our commenter for pointing out the original source of these photos. “These shots were taken by mod4 photographic and the cake was made by Courtney at Cake Nouveau.”
The laws of physics always hold up, even in a world such as Star Wars. Gravity still holds Mr. Skywalker on the ground and Mass Times Acceleration still equals force. But does it equal The Force? That is the question.
Was Yoda really nothing more than a physics professor? Is Darth Vader simply an allegorical symbol of the possible destruction of nuclear power?
You can play chess on any surface (other than water). Looking for a quick pick-up game? Just draw your own board with one of the chalk chess pieces and you’re good to go.
The pieces might not be as ornate or as cool as some other boards we’ve seen, but it makes up for it with pure utility. The only thing limiting you is how much of the pieces remains after drawing the board.
Even with the Force at your back it’s hard to stay cool, calm and collected when you’re battling the dark side. Your hands WILL get sweaty and slippage might occur. The Lightsaber Glove holster saves you from embarrassing lightsaber fumbles.
This Lightsaber Glove Holster advertisement is prnted on a t-shirt, so it definitly exists somewhere. T-shirts never lie. Ever. And as you can see, it’s Yoda and Obi Won approved.
