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Second Generation Drobo Improves Performance And Spank Bank

For the past few years, I’ve run out of storage space on my PC for all my pornography media files.  It’s a total bummer, considering the rest of my processes have to suffer due to a lack of porn-holding storage space.  The good news is that Data Robotics has launched the second-generation model of its award-winning Drobo enclosure. FireWire 800 alongside improved USB 2.0 performance and an upgraded core processor make the next-generation Drobo more efficient at managing and storing digital information than a 150GB hard drive chock full of porn.

Regular hard drives just don’t cut it anymore. They aren’t expandable and most don’t have anywhere near 16 TB of data storage. For those who find themselves managing vast amounts of porn data and can’t afford to sacrifice performance, the Drobo is an ideal way to solve your masturbation data problem.

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Customer Dissatisfaction Regarding iPhone Rate Plans

With the iPhone 3G just around the corner, an online petition was formed regarding Rogers’ iPhone 3G pricing plans which attracted over 41,000 signatures. Service plans were announced to start at $60 for just 150 voice minutes. The gripe is regarding the lack of an unlimited data plan, which is essential for a phone which thrives on data.

Also, unconfirmed rumors say that Apple was so displeased with Rogers’ pricing, they’ve decided to divert some of the Canadian iPhone stock to European launches. Potentially bad news for the Canucks but perhaps some new rate plans may arise from the petition; or it’ll be ignored by anyone who hasn’t signed it.
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Three-Dimensional Printer Thinks Green

Industrial design students at Victoria University presented innovative prototypes. The project was to design and make an eco-friendly three-dimensional printer in four weeks with a limited budget.

Some crazy designs came out of the printers created but my favorite is the “Equinox”, pictured above. It focuses the power of the sun to selectively dry layers of recycled paint which in turn builds up fluid forms. It also happens to be the sweetest looking gyro I’ve ever seen.

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Super SideBar Gets You Laid

Bachelors need a bar at their pad. What better way to impress your guests and lady friends than with a Super SideBar? Go to any bar in the city- you don’t choose your drinks, they’re chosen for you. It’s all about choice and personal preference these days and with the SideBar, five of your favorite thirst-depriving drinks can be tucked away underneath your counter top. With the touch of a button the dispenser on the counter will have your guests selectively choosing which among your favorites they’ll be forced to settle with.

It starts at $499 and comes assembled but the installation part is all up to you. Just make sure you don’t find yourself making out with the “booze-faucet” in front of the ladies because both of you will regret it.

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Ring Ring Ring – Beer Bottle Phone

Hamburger phones, sandwich phones, pig phones, are all edible, or at least look edible.  Breaking the edible theme of telecommunication comes the Beer Bottle phone. Both drinkable and breakable (to an extent) it even has a last number redial button just in case you want to call back your girlfriend who was done talking to you the moment she hung up.

If you had one of these in your room, none of your friends would ever doubt your taste in phones. However, your taste in beer would be in question. For $11.99, you can let all your friends know you like your phones like you like your beer: cheap.

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USB Chameleon Chills On Your Monitor

You can never have enough desktop companions cluttering your desk and cramping your monitor. This reptilian USB friend is indigenous to cum-ridden desks everywhere and comes in three extreme colors: green, orange and yellow. Just plug it into your computer and it’ll rotate its eyes and randomly flick its tongue. It’s almost like a real chameleon; a real chameleon made of plastic.

For $25.33, you’re going to feel ripped off at the fact that this reptile doesn’t change colors like every other chameleon on the planet. On the other hand, it’s a great accessory to have resting on top of your monitor so it can stare at you yearningly while you masturbate in front of it.

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Mobile Workstation For Gardeners On The Go

For gardeners on the go or gardeners who just have a huge work area, the Yardmate is the ideal mobile workstation. This workbench on wheels is sure to hold all garden goodies imaginable, then collapse beneath its shoddy frame.

Gnomes, lilies, bonsai, whatever your fancy, I’m sure you could find a way to pack it into that lower shelf. With a potting space, tool storage and additional display space for flower boxes, what more could you ask for? A hook for the garden hose, you ask? Well, what do ya’ know, it’s got that, too! If only it came with a penis-enlargement attachment, then I’d be set.

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Protect Yo’ Neck With Blizzard Authenticator

Oh noes! Some key logger has taken over my World Of Warcraft account! All my gold is missing, all my gear was probably destroyed all because I left my password as “password.” Well, it won’t happen again ’cause Blizzard’s got this Blizzard Authenticator they’re selling for just $6.50.  It’ll keep them hackers out…unless said hacker happens to be ‘Zero Cool’.

Each time you log in using the Blizzard Authenticator, you are provided with a randomly generated, one-time use password to use in addition to your regular password. It’ll change each time you log in and is displayed on this nifty key chain accessory. So, I’m back to playing World Of Warcraft, hacker-free. Who would’ve thought farming Kil’jaedan solo without any gear would be so much fun?

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NES Keychain Set

Want to show off your fanboy pride? After all, ever since you bought that Nintendo Wii and downloaded a ton of games on the Virtual Console, you haven’t been the same. Go for the gold and get this $6 NES keychain. It comes with miniature versions of the console, the controller and a game cartridge. No word yet if you have to blow on the cart to make your keys work.

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The Smoker’s Umbrella

For a smoker, catching a cig before work is a must whether the weather be rain or shine. Some of us can’t find a dry area half the time and if you’re in Seattle, forget it. In comes the Smoker’s Umbrella to save the day. Equipped with a clip-on ashtray, you’ll be able to keep dry and puff down without the rain invading your personal space.

About $20, the umbrella even comes in a cigarette-shaped tin to get the message across. It’s a nearly perfect umbrella. The only thing missing is a built-in lighter.

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