Gearfuse

Best Buy’s Black Friday ad has leaked, which means it’s time to do some serious itinerary planning for the big day. See, I like me and my fiancee set up a full contingency plan based on what we want the most for us, then comes gifts for others. Come on, we need to set priorities people! Strategy is the name of the game on Black Friday.

So Best Buy has some moderately cool deals, especially in the video game department, but nothing mind-blowing. Though what might be notable is that Best Buy is not going to allow for anyone to get hurt this year because of their doorbuster deals. Apparently they don’t take “death by stampede” lightly. All doorbuster sales will be handled via tickets, which will be passed out up to two hours before the 5 am door openings. Hit the jump for a full-list of Black Friday Best Buy deals. Doorbusters are followed by an asterisk.

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Call them Garden Jawas, garden gnomes or garden dwarves, they’re all garden little people to me. You know how I’m always extremely politically correct. We wouldn’t want any midgets hating on Gearfuse, now would we? Little adorable buggers.

As long as it keeps its little hands off my droids, we’re cool.

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I always figured Christopher Robin was more compassionate than this. Eeyore, not so much. Pooh? He’s just in in for the honey. He figures with Piglet gone it’s one less mouth to feed. Fricken’ fat ass. Who gives a shit about the other two assholes.

After seeing this treatment of Piglet I don’t care if Tigger takes a flying leap off of a cliff.

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If it tastes anything close to how it looks you can expect the distinct flavor of urine and taxi exhaust. Mmm… urban.

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Boba Fett is my personal rum of choice and probably my favorite alcoholic beverage. But nothing can beat a tall Obiweiser on a hot Tatooine day.

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It’s hard to keep yourself well-groomed when you’re sitting in front of a computer screen all-day. Sometimes I look in the mirror and jump make in shock. “Who the hell is that grizzly hobo staring back at me?”

This $35 USB Comb Drive gives me an excuse to perform the most basic of hygienic acts, no matter how busy I might pretend to be. Now all I need is a pube trimming mouse.

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What if I told you ladies that for less than $30 you could return to the days of virginity. I know, I know, you haven’t had our hymen since that vag-to-bike-seat incident on your 11th birthday, so it all seems very new, but never fear, it apparently only takes 20 minutes to reinstall your virginity.

A few politicians in Egypt even want the artificial hymen banned to ward off any hooker sluts from faking their virginity on their wedding day. Just let it be known, if you’ve already popped out a few kids and expect to be transformed into the tight minx you were in your youth, that’s not happening. This thing is going to be AMAZING for the porn industry.

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A great edible gift for a Panda, not such a great edible gift for Panda pet owners. The 106-key Bamboo Keyboard and Mouse from Brando connects to your computer via its USB port and offers support for Window 2000/XP/Vista and Linux.

If you live in a heavy Panda bear population, you might want to either lock the keyboard up tight or mask its scent with your (hey, we don’t judge, Ok, maybe we do judge a little bit) or your mom’s perfume or something. You can purchase both keyboard and mouse individually or you can buy them together for $52.

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I don’t know about where you’re from, how could I? But I do know that in these parts, winter means frigid temperatures. Jersey gets the best (and worst) of both worlds. Extreme heat and intense cold.

The heat part is easy, all I have  to do is walk around naked. It’s the chilliness that starts getting tricky. Out come the layers and bye-bye goes the skin. Unfortunately for Grandma, I have a new pattern I’m going to physically force her to knit. These Mario Mushroom Wrist Warmers will keep me and my family’s wrists warm this season, all cozy under our Mario hoodies. Even if my wrists get more activity than they should, they still get frigid in the chilly Jersey winter.

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Now this is a great idea. A great idea that I didn’t think of first? Now that doesn’t happen everyday. But for this idea, I must concede defeat, as I would never have thought of such an ingenious space saver. Wait a second, I take that back, I so thought of this first. Yeah… totally did.

The PC Drawer and Locking Safe fills your empty PC slot with a little safe drawer to keep all of your co-workers / family members from stealing all of your damn paper clips. It’s not the cost so much as the fact that they never ask! It’s the principle of the thing.

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