I’ve debated building a shrine to the NES for years now, but I’ve never actually gotten around to acting on the idea. Spotted over at the Super Potato retro gaming store in Akihabara, Japan, this 7-foot tall throne was made entirely out of Famicom cartridges, creating an apt shrine for the gamer who demands to be the king of his own domain.
One reason I hate having guests over is having to juggle three or four mugs of coffee at once. You’d think they’d be polite and reject my offers of a warm beverage, but no, it’s always take, take, take. Why is there never any give?! HUH?!
Anyway, the point is that juggling so many mugs isn’t only annoying, it could be hazardous. If one of them just “happens” to “slip” out of your hand “accidentally” and spews scalding hot liquid all over your mother-in-law’s face, you could be facing more than just a little spill. The Link Mugs interlink together to produce a sturdy line, making the carrying part a whole lot easier and the “accidental” spillage a whole lot harder.
Don’t like thinking about how many times your dad’s hairy balls have thrust up against the coffee table as your mom reached climax? Sorry for the image, but that’s the price you have to pay. No toll-free roads here.
This Interactive Ripple Table features 480 super-bright white LEDs and 24 active and passive near-infrared optical sensors that react to both any movement, including your dad’s balls. The lights create a beautiful ripple effect, only adding to the effect of your mom’s ecstasy. Available in three lengths: 22-inches ($1500), 40- inches ($1800) or 58- inches ($2100).
While there’s no mention of Pee Wee in this design project’s description, the resemblance to Herman’s very own breakfast contraption is uncanny.
Directed by designer Yuri Suzuki and artist Masa Kimura, the Breakfast Machine is designed to prepare a full-course meal, serving up omelets, coffee, orange juice and even toast with jam.
Mmm… feel like chugging down a mug of… whatever that warm, brown liquid is? The Toilet Mug takes one of the most popular beverages in the world and makes it one of the least appetizing. Your dog will have a blast.
If for some odd reason you actually want the Toilet Mug you can grab one for around $16. Or you can cut out the middle man and just shove your fingers down your throat. There are much cheaper way to lose your lunch.
If you’re unfortunate enough to have a waitress who is having a bad night, don’t give her any shit. You never know if she’ll do something devastating, like dipping your hamburger bun in her menstruation blood (extra ketchup, sir?) or even (gasp!) bringing you decaf instead of regular.
We can’t help you too much with that first one other than to advise you to bring a barf bag, but as for something as important as your coffee, there are D+Caf strips, which allow you to test your coffee to see if your waitress brought you what you asked for. A set of 20 costs $9.95. So, that’s with two cups a sitting, that’s at least 10 safe sittings.
Meet Perky Jerky, the complete performance enhancing meat. Caffeinated via the addition of Guarana, you won’t even need your morning coffee to get that extra perk, though of course you’ll still take it, you friggen’ fiend.
Feeeeelin’ perky, oh, so perky. Just feel these nipples!
I have a confession. A few years ago we sort of lied to you by saying that the old NES Coffee Table was actually a coffee table. In actuality, it was more like a NES Controller trunk, not a proper table at all. Luckily, if you’re really, really into geeky household shit, there is currently a real NES Controller coffee table available on eBay.
There’s already 4 bids less than a day in, so you best get a move on if you want to grab this thing for less than a fortune.
I’m sort of an odd breed of geek. I haven’t drank a significant amount of caffeine, meaning more than a sip of Coke, in more than two years. I know that most of you probably down energy drinks like they’re water, so you might like to see this visual representation of the ratio between caffeine and calories for certain favorite foods and beverages.
The Buzz versus The Bulge chart illustrates that geeks don’t always make the smartest decision, calorie wise. Unless your downing iced coffee as your main source of caffeine you’re probably downing more calories than you think. And you, fatty, drop the Hazlenut Mocha.
Many are familiar with this essential pair. What would the morning be without a cigarette and a strong cup of hot joe? Miserable is what it would be. Mixing your love for coffee, carcinogens, and saving the Earth, this Coffee Ashtray is a green alternative to the material of your other ashtrays, made with compressed coffee grounds.
Just as long as you know that no matter what ashtray you use, you’re still going to die, slowly and painfully. Have a great day!
