Gearfuse

Don’t let people judge you just because you opted for a foosball table instead of a kitchen table. Like we ever have time to eat at home anymore anyway. I mean, hellooooo, it’s the 21st century. In fact, flaunt the fact! Accessorize and accentuate your foosball theme. And what better way to accessorize your home decor than with a few coat hangers.

Lay down your beer bong and slip off your jacket, the Offside Foosball Coat Hanger provides an excellent tabletop game-themed spot to keep your room organized. Just because you live in a mancave, doesn’t mean said cave needs to look like a pigsty.

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I shattered a windshield with my bare hands once. True story. Of course by bare hands I mean my Fist Sledgehammer’s hands. But technically they are “my” hands. I mean, I do own them, amirite? Of course I am. Leave me alone.

Because double fisting your favorite brew can lead to double fisting the nearest face, know what I’m sayin’, G? Might as well cause some real damage while “reimagining” your friend’s facial structure. It’s only a matter of time before this thing finds its way into a porn movie.

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Ok, so I lied. This Fight Club Soap is definitely not made with human fat, as it is “supposedly” 100% vegan. “Supposedly,” indeed. *wink wink*

Etsy’s very own vegan soap maker Dirty Ass Soaps has designed this Fight Club soap, similar to the bar that appears on the film’s iconic poster. First rule of Fight Club Soap, don’t mention its real ingredients.

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I have a major drinking problem. And that problem is that I can’t sit back with a chilly brew when I’m on the move. Whether I’m at work or waiting for the the train, I need a constant flow of beer flowing down my gullet and until now that just wasn’t possible unless I wanted to carry around one of those hobo specials, the brown bags of wonder. Because lord knows I can’t carry around my usual beer stein.

The Port-A-Pint collapsible beer cup has saved me from many a desperate situations. Passing a kegger party and totally cupless? No more! Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

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Boba Fett is my personal rum of choice and probably my favorite alcoholic beverage. But nothing can beat a tall Obiweiser on a hot Tatooine day.

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Oh, come on. The Kong man didn’t even put up a fight! In his defense, I guess it’s kinda hard to fight back when your being speared by Scorpion.

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I’m not quite sure how this Donkey Kong soda monster remains standing while simultaneously defying the laws of gravity in several places. In fact, it might be shopped for all I care.

All I know is that I have a sudden craving for root beer.

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Whenever I go camping I have to make sure I have enough room for all of my various openers. A bottle cap opener for the beer, can opener for the beans, a bottle twister for the antacid.

So you can imagine my extreme excitement (it involved jumping up and down, shouting and a changed pair of shorts. I love my gadgetry) whenI came across this 5 in 1 Auto Safety Master Opener which promises to open all of my canned and bottled goods with the help of only one device. Seems like a real space saver. Grab your own for around $20.

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Star Wars fan and tangled wire advocate Brian De Vitis managed to have one of the greatest brainstorm ideas ever. Why not take every console I own (all eight of them) and stuff them all into that R2-D2 replica I’ve had sitting around the house.

Well, EVERYONE has the supplies needed for this project. No excuses. Grab your droid and get going. Well? Go on!

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Pearly Dreams toothpaste was made to help you sleep. In other words, brush your teeth with this stuff and say goodnight. You’ll be lucky to make it to your bed.

Containing a cocktail of Melatonin, Balm Mint, Valerian and Passionflower and endorsed by Aerosmith’s Brad Whitford (wtf?), Pearly Dreams promises a long night of unconsciousness. Or you can just drink until you pass out like usual. I wouldn’t trust having this in my bathroom. Knowing my luck, I’d use it right before a date or something and wind up half-alive at dinner instead of potentially getting laid.

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