Gearfuse

Excuse the pun, but do Apple fans really give a “hoot” about owls? Sure, I suppose this Earbud Owl, made using a Epilog Zing laser cutter, does resemble the uber-geeky “O RLY?” macro, but that’s  about the furthest I can go with owl geekiness until I reach the point of obliviousness. Admittedly, this is a pretty neat idea.

The owl’s big eyes are great for multiple things. Seeing things in the dark helps it survive and being big eyed in general is one of the first rules of adorableness.

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When a problem comes along, you must whip it. Am I right or am I right? Totally just made that up. Sounds like I could write a whole song just with that concept. I’ll whip it up a little later and I’ll whip it good. But for now, let’s check out these awesomely kinky heels, perfect for both private moments in the bedroom, an Indiana Jones theme party or a night at your local transsexual dominatrix parlor.

Because before you’re whipped into shape, you’ll actually need a whip. The whip footwear is now sold-out, but it was fetching a hefty $800.

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Oh, man. The transformation is complete. Barbie is now officially inked. The oldest teenager in the world (can you say “mid-life crisis?”) is now offered a new world of tattoos, thanks to Mattell’s new “Totally Tattoos” line of no-mess decals. No, I am not making this up.

Mattell offers a range of 40 tats to disfigure Barbie’s beautiful clear skin, including a strategically designed tramp stamp which declares her love for Ken. Didn’t they break up or divorce or something? More tat love after the jump of doom.

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This has got to be one of the coolest themed couches ever created. Montanara by Gaetano Pesce creates the illusion of a mountain scene right in your living room, including cushion waterfalls and jagged support peaks of doom.

The picturesque couch makes you feel larger than life as you use nature’s largest objects as your personal lounging tool. Just watch where you sit. Those pine trees can be a bitch. See more after the jumptastic jump.

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Scott Campbell has a laser-etching machine and a lot of cash to blow. Know how I can tell? The sonofabitch took a bunch of ones (c’mon, go for the Benjamins), stacked them up and cut them into various designs. I love the skull. The best part is the name he came up with for his series of art: Make It Rain.

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In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D., there was a guy named Joel, not too different from you and me. To make a long story short, he was abducted by a mad scientist and put into space with a collection of ultra-hysterical robots, most notably Tom Servo and Crow. Cambot and Gypsy had their place, but let’s be honest, it wasn’t as lead characters.

Anyway, for those of you who are nuts-o about Mystery Science Theater 3000, here is a totally rad Tom Servo doll which was crocheted by hand. You won’t be finding this in any store unfortunately, but maybe you could convince your grandma to make you your own. And if that doesn’t work, you can always threaten her with a nursing home, or your fists.

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Stop making out with that pig for a second and thing about the risks of swine influenza. There are people dropping dead all around us (mostly Mexicans, thank god) and it seems like there is nothing we can do about it.

We here at Gearfuse like to mix a little humor in with our pandemics. That’s why we’ll be wearing these awesome Pig Snout Face Masks once the germ is airborne in our area. If we’re going to die, we’re going to die laughing. More snout lovin’ after the jump.

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If you’ve already been rocking some glowing furniture, your other rooms must be feeling pretty dark and drab. Sure, you might sort of like sleeping in the dark like a normal person, but the addition of a luminous Fiber Optic Pillow and Bed Cover seems like the sort of glow we could get used to.

I don’t understand the whole Halloween color scheme, I mean, honestly, they could have picked any other two colors, sans green and red. But hey, it’s shiny and it’s cuddly. Can’t get much better than that.

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Girl, from the first day I had you in my heart
I knew our arms would never grow apart
Yellow and yellow, hand in hand
Crankin’ out beats while I bust out a jam

Got my man with the hair over to the left
And angry bro-dude, yeah, he comes next
I’m in the middle singing all the time
Don’t pay attention to my dope ass rhymes

Next up is whitey, ’cause of his hat
The next is Yakuza with a baseball bat
The five us together, come on give us a hand
We’re the sexiest, dreamiest LEGO boy band!

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I’m sure you can pick this up at every other subway stop in New York, but, ah, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Tarzan? Nice. Real nice.

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