Gearfuse

Well, it’s your tenth birthday, son. And you know what that means. Time for your first cigarette! No, don’t fight back. It’s for your own good. It’ll help you grow into a real man, like me, and R2-D2! You like R2-D2 right? That’s right, breathe deep. In honor of your first mini-stogy I’ve taken it upon myself to adorn your cake with lighter candles. Feel free to touch them all you want, just don’t come crying to me when you’ve got third degree burns on your little fingers.

Ahh, the big one-oh. You can finally get a full-time job. Maybe find a bitch of your very own. Yes, it’s all downhill from here.

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Best0fScience produced this amazing video tour of the entire piss-drinking International Space Station, detailing all of the nooks and nodes of the most diplomatic spacecraft in the known universe. This thing is huge, much bigger and windier than I had ever anticipated.

Be warned that the multi-dimensional construction of the ISS leads to some serious nausea-inducing moments, complete with handheld action and floating twists. If you can get past the vertigo, this tour is one of the most intriguing looks at actual space life that you’ll ever see.

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I told you that this would be the last time you’d ever do something like this to me. I told you if I ever caught you with that damn Macbook again that’d be the last straw. Our last option, if we want to save this relationship, is the Codependency Suit. That’s right, 24/7 surveillance and communication. It’ll be great! We’ll finally get to spend all of that time together that I’ve always talked about.

The Codependency Suit is every players worse nightmare. Zip it up and you and your significant others are joined at the hip, quite literally. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game, and this damn suit. But love the potential for hot lesbian action.

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Any fan of crime drama shows would be hard pressed not to welcome these Forensic Pillows into their home with open zipper. Featuring a variety of designs inspired by the thrill of the police hunt, these pillows are a surefire way to both nauseate and amaze.

I could totally see myself falling right to sleep on my couch with one of these fluffy pieces of forensics, it would just take some getting used to. It’s not everyday that you cuddle up with some blood splatter, unless your name happens to be Dexter and your a part-time serial killer. Even if your style might suffer, and even though you might be broke after purchasing one of these made-to-order $374 pillows, your heart will thank you for embracing its fascination with morbidity. Great for an expensive and creative Valentine’s Day gift and an absolutely perfect companion for your Law and Order cards.

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Light some candles, lay down some rose petals and set the mood music. It’s Macbook Pro unboxing time. Oh, yeah. I’m gonna lay you down by the fire and press all of your buttons. Right on, right on. Just play it cool. If your girlfriend walks in on you like this guy’s did, you’ll really be in the dog house.

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Most of us aren’t blessed enough to build our very own full-sized or even snack-sized movie theater in our home. But thankfully many of us have been able to pony up the dough for an iPhone. With a little imagination and some help from the wonders of arts and crafts (yes, I realize I sounds like Barney the Dinosaur here. Just bear with me.) you can create your very own mini-movie theater. It’s not fair to let them suffer just because you can’t have your very own theater.

Using nothing but an iPhone, a shoebox, a laser printer, a knife and a dab or two of liquid cement, you can create an iPhone movie theater in your very home. You really do spoil your action figures rotten, don’t you? Hit the jump for some video footage of what the theater looks like from the inside.

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Right, that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. Be transformed into a walking, talking PA system. That really helps me with my self-worth as a human. Take that machines!

This AV T-Shirt takes your love for all things audio and visual and sticks it right on your back. Does is help project your voice like a mic or even transmit an HD version of yourself? Probably not unless you purposely talk louder, but who says you can’t pretend? LOOK AT THE GREATNESS OF MY PA SHIRT! ALL BOW BEFORE ME! No? Nothing? Fine then. *walks away, head slumped* Grab your own for $18 from Threadless.

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I’m not sure where someone pulls an idea like this out of, but I’m sure it’s from some orifice on the bottom half of their body. Regardless of which cavity the idea was extracted from, I’m amazed at the absurdity and I really actually love it.

This very meta Mech Mario is driven by a mini-version of himself. Or maybe it’s the other way around. I’m not sure, I’m not very good with that whole infinite loop thing. All I know is that custom toy maker Donny Kennedy has a nutty sort of mind, and I like that.

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At some point we had to come to terms with the fact that we weren’t the pimpin’ gangstas we thought we were. So naturally off came our fake gem rings, in the closet goes the Pimptendo, on went these awesome Monster Rings. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I have a morbid fascination with gore and horror. I can’t help it, it’s just the way I’m wired. And by the popularity of Quentin Tarantino and Romero movies, I assume I’m not alone here.

So pimps we might not be, but horror buffs we are. So, I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin wearing rings like these rather than my old pimp hand jewelry. Grab a horrifying finger artifact of your own for $20 from Etsy.

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No matter how delicious this perfectly crisped piece of toast might look, how could you ever really eat this awesome Nintendo DSi toast and remain of sound mind. I would regret it for the rest of my days. But my tummy is rumbling. Ahhhh, I hate hard decisions.

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